You can't just leave.....

You scoop up your beautiful child and depart for the hotel… and then the plane, and then home forever.  Every dream has come true for you, and as you watch your child grow, settle in, attach and heal you start to see every dream you had for them come true.  Yet, you just can’t leave… it stays with you.  All the faces you saw while you were there.  The school aged kids that should be in school but were on the streets shining shoes so their families might have a possibility to eat.  The village you visited… there was one water source, it wasn’t even close to clean and kids were swimming in it and drinking.  The mothers sitting with children on the streets, some to tired to even ask for help anymore. The remote village so far removed from any sufficient food or water source that you can easily imagine what even one rough season would do to all these people…. Its endless.. and the longer you’re gone, the more these images seem to keep striking you again and again.  Ethiopia has touched the hearts of all of the adoptive families so much that two good friends I made along the adoptive journey have convinced Children’s Hope Chest to open up a Carepoint in Wioloso Ethiopia (this is the city my sisters baby was from) in which they along with the help of willing volunteers (myself included) will be in charge of.  This is unprecendented for this charity! Never have they had just two moms want to head an entire carepoint… usually this is something tackled by a whole church or organization, but that is how much passion and drive has been instilled them (and us!).  Just as Jesus fed 5000 with 2 loaves and 5 fish, we are putting what little we have into His hands and trusting Him to provide!! And so far, we have had a great start… almost 50 kids sponsored. We need to get the first 150 sponsored (Children’s Hopechest has identified the 150 most needy already and they are up on our site) and then we can start fundraising for area projects like a well, and a school…. With a goal of the carepoint being totally self sufficient in 7 years!.  Sponsorship is only $34 a month.  You can write to your sponsored child, you can send care packages for them when families travel… and any time you feel inspired to do so, you can join in on one of the trips (that are taken every 12-18m) and actually meet your sponsored child!  

This video is from Children’s HopeChest so you can see more what the sponsorship and organization do.CHILDREN'S HOPE CHEST 

Now I know in this economy $34 a month is not necessarily something all of us easily have accessible.  So I'm gonna share some ideas that I have for saving or finding the money...I'm sure there are tons more too, but this can really be a family event! If you have children, this is a great opportunity to have them take ownership of something meaningful and include them in helping with the sponsorship.  I was talking to Jasmine and she was totally shocked that not all kids can just go to school.  A great opportunity to open their eyes to a world outside our comfortable American lives. 

*when you go to the bank each week and pull out cash, put $7 in an envelope on the side, you likely wont miss it

*Downsize your Grande to a Tall at Starbucks

*set aside bottle returns

*Sacrifice one fast food meal a week

*Kids can rake leaves, or do lemonade stands

*When tax returns come in, set aside a little bit to offset monthly costs

*Turn down the temp in your house a degree or two, and seal your windows

*Buy store brand

*Find that something you stop for each week (a slurpee, bag of chips etc.) and offer that up as something you can give up so that a child can have his/her basic needs met and schooling.  

*Clip coupons and put the money saved in an envelope

It really amounts to a little over $1 a day...  and if you have kids, like I do... there will be so many opportunities to remind them that by not having this small thing, we are doing a huge thing for our brother/sister in Ethiopia, and maybe if God provides, someday we can go meet them.  And get them behind coming up with ideas for earning and saving money.  

AND HERE THEY ARE: Sponsor « Woliso    <<<< CLICK ON THIS LINK TO SEE THEIR BEAUTIFUL FACES!  

If you see a child you'd like to sponsor, please just check quickly with me, as we have posted some on Facebook seeking sponsors and we would just want to make sure they haven't been spoken for. 

If God isn't calling you to sponsor, or if it really isn't feasible for you right now... and I totally know that is true for some of us.  Please pray for the success of our efforts.  Perhaps share this blog.  We will be fundraising after our first batch of sponsorships are matched for a well and school.  If you are interested or able to help with that when the time comes, we would be eternally grateful.  whatever you can do, however seemingly small, .... remember, in His hands, is enough.  God Bless!!!!

It changes you...

Being in Ethiopia changes you…  It gets in your blood.  I’ve noticed it in all the returning families.  Either a burning desire to return and help is started…  or this need to get rid of a lot of your “stuff”, or just the “missing it” feeling.  Many times a mix of all of those, sometimes one at a time… but it seems to be a definite pattern.  Why do we all feel this way?  What happens when you are there?  We have a lot of things in America, a lot of things that they don’t have in Ethiopia.  And there are definitely some things that the people in Ethiopia really should have, hence the helping (their food and medical needs met to start)…  but in the absence of having a lot of “things” they really have something we don’t…  Something that is so tough to find anywhere in America.  They are so people centered, they look AT you with genuine interest.  They go out of their way to welcome you with whatever little they have, whether they know you or not.  They know how to LOVE.  My son kisses me (and his brothers and sisters, and any visitors we have lol) hundreds of times a day.  And I can’t help but think, how many times HE must have been kissed in his short two years of life to learn to love people like that.  When you are walking down the street you see people walking with their arms around each other in genuine affection, you can’t cross paths with someone and talk longer than five mintues without being invited to stay with them and have coffee.   I find we miss it because we just don’t have that here.  We want to be submerged in that kind of love and learn how to be that kind of love.. and we also want to help provide these beautiful people with the things that they should have but do not. 

I keep thinking of where it’s lost in America.  I know for sure we are inundated with things and whether we want to or not we find security in them.  I have worked on detachment a lot, and continue to… and I honestly feel like I can’t remember the last time when I was truly upset over losing a “thing” or “something” breaking, or not been able to have this or that…  but I still am blessed to have a lot of them, I still have a security in that.  I am not forced to have faith that God will provide everything in my life (tho in reality that's the truth... but when we have it always available that realization isn't always in front of us as it should be).  I think that faith makes you a different kind of person.  I think that is where a lot of us get that temptation (And a good one I think) to get rid of some or even a lot of our stuff.  So there is less “stuff” between us and God… less “stuff” between us and people, and also aid ourselves to live that kind of faith. 

I was reading St. Teresa of Avila last night, and she was talking to the sisters about building up large homes and lots of possessions, and how they all will come down on Judgement day and think of how loud of a sound the crash of your “things” will make (majorly paraphrased LOL!).  But it really made me think… While I am not saying that we are wrong to have homes, or things to provide for our familes  AT ALL.  We need to be thanking God for these things… many families have to choose between watching their children die and placing them elsewhere so they might have a chance.  But it really sat with me, that we need to be using everything God has blessed us with for His glory…   I really hope to live a life, and pray that I live a life, that the metaphoric noise of the life we’ve lived completely drowns out the noise of the crash of all of the things we have on Judgement Day.  

ONE MONTH HOME!

Is it possible?!  Can it really be, that its been an entire month since we walked off the plane with this curious fellow?

How's he doing? How's it going?  He's doing amazingly well.  We started off the month petrified of the woo-shas (dogs) and are now pushing them around the house.  He started off the month loving his brother and sister, and STILL love his brother and sisters.  His sisters love to dote on him, and there is a lot more rough tumbling in the house now with two boys instead of one.  Its not uncommon for me to see Noah hanging around Dominic's neck, or pouncing him!  Dominc's loving it :)

  He's learning so fast...  he seems to understand a lot of what we say already.  He's got a handful of words he does say... but he's awfullly funny when he wants to converse with us it resembles very closely to the Friends episode when Joey speaks french.  "A-ga-la-la-ya"  smile, laugh, run on merry way :)

I must say, Ethiopians must be extremely affectionate people, I've never been smooched so much by a child!  He'll be playing and I hear "Mama" And he's all puckered up.  I'll be cuddling him to sleep and "Mama, Mama, mwua mwua" Kiss kiss...  All day long.  He kisses babies and everyone!  Such an affectionate kid!!  And so full of joy.  Most of the time it seems like he has more joy inside of him than he can possibly contain.  He def can show a little temper tho, in typical two year old fashion, if things get taken away or fun (such as turning the knobs on stoves kind of fun) is stopped LOL

He LOVES water.  Whether it be in the pool, bath or from a hose, no matter.  The boy is a fool for water!  And of course, the water (in his opinion) doesn't HAVE to be outside.  Why, the refrigerator produces water... lets flood the kitchen!!! The bathroom sink and bathtub faucets are reachable... lets just turn them on cause its more fun to have water running than not running, right??  He is a two year old... and thus his definition of fun is a lil bit mischief :) its in his job description!

He really is a good friend to all..  I can't think of anyone he doesn't like.  No one he's particularly scared of or cries around.  That being said, he's already figured out who mama and daddy are.  He prefers us, and gravitates to us first (VERY good for a newly adopted little fellow).  He got royally ticked at me the other day when I held another baby. LOVE :)  

In many ways it seems like he's always been here.  In some ways we are still figuring out how to juggle 5.  God couldn't have selected a better little boy to fit our family.  

He's HOME!!

We're HOME!!!  I've come to the realization that the two trips to Ethiopia are probably going to take months to digest and process in many ways... so I'll share some surface details at this point and you can look forward to "digging deeper" into the experience type blogs over the coming months as things strike me or are brought to me.  We cleared Embassy FAST!! Only 6 days after we were submitted!  And we were pretty tired getting on the plane because due to the 7 hour time difference there were a couple nights of awaiting emails till the wee hours of the morning and being woken up by my phone for every SINGLE email, and not only the one I was actually waiting for LOL.  We landed in Ethiopia at 7:30am on Wednesday June 12 and literally got a few hours to sleep and jetted off to Janes House to spend Noah's last afternoon with him and bring him back with us!  It was so awesome as there were so many adoptive families there to share in his going away coffee ceremony, and he shared it with his friend Tizzie who's family was also picking her up.  It was really cool for them as we stayed at the same hotel so they had opportunities to play with each other and shared in our "going away" dinner at our agency reps house.  Tizzie lives only a few hours away and we are hoping to be able to keep those two in contact as the years go on.  They spent their entire time at Janes House together and were from the same area of Ethiopia.  The flight home.... Ahhh the flight home.  It was, overall, not bad looking back.  It could have been a lot worse.  LOL!  Raving reviews, eh?   Noah slept the first 6 hours and was up the whollleee rest of the time.  Fortunately he didn't fuss too much, but Brian and I got very little sleep.  It was very  exhausting!  To say the least the idea of not seeing a plane again for quite some time sounds amazingly wonderful to both of us!  We were greeted by family and friends at the airport and it was so nice to have so many people there to welcome us.  Seeing our kids running to meet their brother is a moment I wont forget!  And all of the kids are in love with each other!  LOVE LOVE LOVE.  

So we've been home a week... how's it going?  As a mom, I am hoovering between two worlds.  The "I am a mom of five I CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!" world, and the "I am a mom of five, I want to go hide under a rock while someone else figures this whole thing out and tells me the secret" LOL  Noah is doing really well overall.  He's only had one night so far (God willing it stays that way) where he opted to party for about 3-4 hours in the middle of the night.  All others he has slept thru!  All the kids enjoying pitching in keeping an eye on our curious toddler, and he is really a very joyful and fun kid!  He NO LIKE the dogs LOL  Although a week later, he is already notably better with them than he was (he climbed up Brian's head screaming on day one when I brought them back from the kennel).  He even pet the evil "woo-shahs" last nigth when they were dead asleep and knew not the wiser LOL baby steps.  This kid is a FOOL for water! He LOVES!!!  Whether its from a hose, a pool, a bath, a water table, the sink... no matter, it is all EXTREMELY fun!  He already can follow many simple commands in english.  "Put that in the Garbage", "Put it in the sink" "Put it back" "Give it to ____".  And he def has some Ahmaric words (some we know some we dont)... and is walking around saying "mama" "dada" "no no" "bye bye".   Kids are seriously little sponges!!!  

And I just have to say, there is something SO SO sweet about hearing this tiny little voice all day long  saying "mama!!" and He is actually looking for ME!!  He is already showing attachment to us, and preferring us over other adults.  He's already claiming us as "his" :)  And we are SO happy to be!!!

That's all for now... and I can guarentee much much more will come out as we dive into processing our whole amazing experience in Ethiopia.  Until then, Enjoy Noah's Adoption Video if you haven't had a chance to watch it yet! Link below :)

Noah's Adoption Video

Noah

There's a lot in a name... and we had many names that we had tossed around and threw on potential lists when we were waiting.  I would never commit to one tho.  I wanted to see him, I wanted to feel it was right... and sure enough the day that we were matched with our son all of the names that I had on my list went right out the window and we were back to the drawing board. This sweet little face didn't fit any of the names we had tossed around.

  There were so many things to take into consideration.  He was almost two, so we wanted to find a name at least a little similar sounding to what he was being called now.  And we wanted to keep his given name as his middle name.  Not many American names sound like "yeabsera" so we decided to at least look at names that ended in an "ah" sound. For days a few different names sat on our list and then we decided to go through a list of Ethiopian names and see if anything clicked.  And it just jumped out "Noah".  That was it.  Brian was also almost instantly set that it was "the name".  It was right, it was him.. He would be Noah Yeabsera.

I've been sitting with this name for a couple months now, and I am realizing more and more how exactly perfectly fitting it is.  The story of Noah has so many connections to the adoption journey in general, but even more specifically ours.  Noah was told by God to do something... build an ark for a flood that no one could predict was coming.  Like our own journey, I'm sure there were some people who probably admired his faith, but there were probably also a great many walking by Noah in the town thinking he was a little crazy :)  And then the flood comes, and he does as he is told and floats for 40 days and 40 nights with no land in sight.  In scripture, 40 is the period of testing.... the flood ensued for 40 days, Jesus was in the dessert for 40 days, Moses was in the desert for 40 years etc. etc..   I'm sure, much like adoption, there were times out on his ark that Noah felt he couldn't stand it anymore, wondered if maybe he wouldn't make it and yet kept reminding himself of what God promised.  When reflecting on how I felt this confirmation with the name Noah and the connections with the story... I couldn't help it... I had to count.   And our period of "waiting"... or period of "testing" from the day our dossier papers went to Ethiopia to the day we accepted Noah's referral..... yep, 40 WEEKS!! Can God be any more in the details???  And oh MY was it a period of testing!  But just like Noah and the great flood..... we will walk out with a rainbow of covenant promise, just as He promised :)

Ethiopia Trip 1 MEGABLOG - Part 1

I thought of splitting this up into multiple blogs, but since I didn't get a lot of time to blog until we actually got home I figured it didn't make a whole lot of sense to do that so I'd just do 1 MEGA BLOG LOL

I was totally anticipating blogging when we got our court date, as it was a much anticipated day... however, we plan and God laughs.  We were anticipating a court date in late May and we received a call on May 2 telling us our court date was May 8... and we had to be there by Monday night so we could spend a day with our son prior to going to court on Wednesday.  Jasmines communion was Saturday so needless to say, with that rat race blogging wasn't going to be happening!!  We were literally packing up until the second we left on Sunday and then over the ocean we went!  We landed in Ethiopia on Monday night around 8:30pm ... knowing we would meet our lil guy the following day! SO exciting!!!!

THEN WE MET HIM!!!:  http://walkerstoethiopia.blogspot.com/2013/05/we-met-him.html

The next day we went to court.  Court was very simple and easy.  In a matter of minutes it was official, He was OURS!!! In a matter of minutes we could call him our SON! Post pictures of him... introduce him to the world: Noah Yeabsera Walker!  We went straight to Janes House to see our little boy.  We got there and it was naptime, We poked our head in his room and he wasn't sleeping .. he lifted his head up and a huge smile spread on his face.  He reached for me and I lifted him up.  He gave me a huge hug and then told his nannies that mama and dada were there!!  Soooo sweet.  He was in a very cuddle place for a while which was nice, because he's a typical 2 year old... take your cuddles when you get them, cause there is a fun world to explore and play in!!

Of course mommies are for cuddling and a lot of the time daddies are for goofing around so it wasn't too long before cuddles turned into giggles and play time began

Noah is a super sweet lil guy.  He's happy to entertain himself, and a lil quiet but is happy to play with you as well.  He's also a bit of a magician!  More than once I would see him walk into an enclosed space with me at the entrance  certain he wouldn't exit without my knowledge... only to have me look out the window and see him playing in another area!

On Thursday and Friday we were able to drive out to the area Noah was from.  We saw the original orphanage he was at, met with his birthmother, and much to our surprise she went with us to the village Noah was from and walked us right up to the place he was born and lived prior to coming to the orphanage  Noah's birthmother was a lot like him, such a sweet and quiet woman with a beautiful smile.  We are so honored to be blessed to have her son as our son and her a part of our lives forever.  It was such a blessing to be able to walk through the village Noah was born and lived in.  The ride was an experience!! A bumpy ride for a lot of it.  It was not uncommon for a herd of goats or cows to pass your path (with or without a person accompanying them) and at certain points we were driving not on "dirt roads" but just "dirt"... dirt as far as you could see and the only thing hinting that there is a path to follow are a couple tire tracks leading a certain way.  I remember thinking "It doesn't look like there is anything, anywhere out here!" And then all of a sudden brush appeared... and we winded and weaved through brush... and then all of a sudden a village!  AMAZING!  We eventually had to stop driving and walk because driving wasn't possible anymore.   We got out of the car and she walked us up to their home. 

It was a very simple village... no electricity, simple homes kept cool by growing grass on the top of them...  yet it was SO beautiful.  What made it beautiful?  The people! Think... if you dont have many things to focus on, and there isn't much money to seek after... what do you focus on? What's your entertainment?  The people around you!  These people were so warm and friendly, they look at you not through you.  As we were waiting for Noahs' birthmom for a few minutes, neighbors pulled up a bench for us to sit on, and people gathered around trying to make us feel welcome "Oh you're sitting in the sun!!  Move in the shade!" (thank goodness for translators).  Within minutes most of the people from 4 homes either way were congregated visiting.  I can't think of a time I even knew when one of my neighbors had visitors, let alone was it a reason for the whole block to come together and welcome them? A lot of people will look at these pictures and think how poor these people are, but trust me... they are rich in many ways.

Ok..... this is going to be a multi-part mega blog because its getting LONG!!

We MET HIM!!!!

In the whirlwind of the past week I haven't been able to blog a lot of major steps and things that normally I would have.  We were anticipating a court date in late May and anxiously awaiting our call...when last Thursday we got the call that it would be the following Wednesday in Ethiopia.  We had to get tickets booked to be there no later than Tuesday Morning!!  In the mix of all that running around and packing we also celebrated Jasmine's firt communion with her!!! Such a blessed blessed weekend!!! To wrap it up getting on a plane Sunday night and after about 20 hours in the air landed in Ethiopia.  Yesterday was the day we've been anticipating for MONTHS!!!  To finally set eyes on our little boy and be able to touch him and love on him.  We spent the morning at the University and Lion zoo and then this afternoon was solely dedciated to spending time at Janes House with Yeabsera.  We pulled up and I saw that infamous black door that I've seen so many pictures of ...  As we opened the door the caretaker asked which child was ours and we told her but I spotted him before she found him.  Standing there on the step SO SO SO cute!  He walked up to us, and I gave him the little ball we brought for him and he smiled and threw it. He wasn't scared of us at all.  In the first half hour or so he was happy to play with us but then also perfectly happy to walk away as well... But it didn't take long before he was asking "up" and givine me flirty little smiles, and wanting to sit by me. We even both got a kiss out of him!  He is super sweet!!!!  And a little guy for sure!! the 18m clothes I brought for him will be fitting for a while, and in fact the pants were too big.  I delivered all the gifts from the waiting mamas who sent them and loved on all the babies.  I got to hold my niece and introduce her to her cousin (though I know they've already met :)  But I got a pic of them together!).  We had so much fun playing with all the kids.  They are all such great kids and so happy and Brian was the hit of the day with all the older boys!!!  He played in the courtyard with them for quite a while.  I really think... if you need to uplift your soul and just feel like your perspective needs to be put right... go play with the kids at an orphanage. They were all such a blessing to us!!! You walk in the door and they all start calling you "mama".  And to just be able to give love and play with all of them and watch it make their day ... tooooo amazing.!  God is good!! And the nurses and caretakers all love them so much. I dont think I ever saw one without a kid in their arms.  And we finally got to spending over 3 hours with our soon to be son and we couldnt be more in love!!!  We can't wait to finally bring him home so everyone else can meet the sweetness that is Yeabsera!

Birthed from your Heart...

It is often said that adopted children are birthed from your heart... and as I sit with this idea it is really, in so many ways, a perfect description..

When conceiving and birthing a child biologically you sacrifice your body A LOT.  When conceiving and birthing a child from your heart you sacrifice your heart A LOT.  This is in no means saying your heart isn't involved in bio birth (everyone worries for and loves their unborn child in a very special and unique way, and perhaps runs into the doctor for every slight worry...) or your body in a heart birth (vaccines, flying across the world sometimes staying in uncomfortable conditions etc.).  But back to the comparison...   As your biological child is growing within you, your body is being stretched to the point where you are certain there is no more room, you sign on the dotted line for aches till its over, there are a number of things you sacrifice eating and doing in hopes that it will help your child be born as healthy as possible.   And just when you are quite certain you cannot take it anymore you enter the most painful physical phase and finally have your child in your arms.  As your adoptive child is growing within your heart, your heart is being stretched to the point where you are quite certain there is no more room.  You are forced to sacrifice essentially any control over the situation you might have thought you had.  You are forced to put faith in people thousands of miles from you to care for and do whatever it takes to get you to your child as fast as possible.  You think of them possibly hungry or sick or lonely and your heart swells and there is absolutely nothing you can do.  You sign on the dotted line to have an ache in your heart until they are home.  I would say any parent that has had to watch their child in a hospital or something similar probably knows a similar ache (with the exception that I imagine there is a great deal more fear added to the equation in the hospital situation).  Having your child home in your arms, safe and healthy is 100% in the hands of God and other people...with very little you can do aside from signing consent forms.   But for many of us that have been blessed to never know that... it is different from many of the worries you get when you are pregnant.  If you worry when you are pregnant that you haven't felt the baby move, you have the ability to sit and put your hands on your tummy and wait... and if that doesn't calm your concerns you can drive to a doctor and have them calm your concerns.... the ache you feel in this case, you really have no option for calming them except for a lot of prayer and faith.  And just when you think you cannot take it anymore you enter the most painful phase of having held your child and now leaving them and waiting at home for them until you can go get them again, and then finally have your child in your arms again.  Both cases require a lot of sacrifice, rooted in the selfless love of a parent for their child, and at times pain, but to hold and have the greatest gift.

What is the same....

1.  Your desire to have them.  I walked around life repeating my key phrase "I hate wait" with each and every one of my kids.  I want them in my arms... period....  I am eager to love them, and touch them and have them home.
2. Who's child they are.  There are many people with no ill intent whatsoever, say hurtful things "real parent" or "your OWN children".....   But you see, phrases like this simply neglect to recognize who these children REALLY are.  Every one of my children, biological and adopted, are God's children first.  He created them and gifted them to me...  we don't create life, we are open to life and God creates it.  So, really, none of them are "my own".... yet I love them all completely as the amazing gift God has given to me.  And a real parent is one that says "yes" to that child and lays down their life (and body and heart) to love them unconditionally.
3.  The love.  Any parent knows, you can look at beautiful child after beautiful child (and honestly, EVERY child is BEAUTIFUL), and talented child after talented child.... yet there is something very different when you are looking at YOUR child, or watching YOUR child present you with the most beautiful drawing of them with you etc. etc.  There is a fullness in your heart, a confirmation "He's/She's mine" and and whatever they are and do is presented to your heart differently.  An amazing differently.... and there is something about those faces that make every suffering you went thru throughout their "birth" (either body or heart) fade away. THAT is the same with every child God gifts to you.

Wait.... and HURRY UP! :)

Hurry up and wait.... Hurry up and wait.... Now, wait.... and HURRY UP!

Ahh  we got our birthmom court date yesterday, March 25!  Which means, if all goes well that week we will likely know our court date and be booking plane tickets! CRAZY!!  If we follow others recent timelines we'll like be on a plane 3 weeks later.  Wow....   After nine months of dragging waiting, now all of a sudden I feel there is so much to do in relatively little time!  We will probably receive travel information soon to start looking over so we are prepared when the call comes. That in itself is going to take some sorting through... where to stay, how our trip will go, what airline to take etc. etc.  I want to get the boys room ready before leaving so that we can show his birth mother a picture of the room (I bought curtain material yesterday and will likely shop paint and what not this weekend!). I've got to continue to put together donations for the orphanage (if anyone is interested in contributing anything donation wise for the orphanage please let me know), a photo book for the birth mother, get those darn vaccines (I wish I could go a week without getting sick so I could get these taken care of already), start collecting gifts for people in Ethiopia (it is customary to give gifts to people who have helped you and the list is QUITE long).... and just a whole bunch of "nesting" things that kicked in.... oh about a week ago!

Its like a whirlwind of activity, and honestly... I love it!! I'm back in my "zone".  I'm a doer LOL I don't do particularly well when my "do" is to "wait"... Now, give me 25 things, and I'm in my element.   And I look at his precious face and feel so incredibly blessed and excited that it wont be long till we can meet him and be able to love on this beautiful little person.  And I feel so blessed to have a birth parent case, and we will likely get to meet her and talk with her and ask her questions that will be priceless to know the answers to.  And we will be able to have the opportunity to hopefully grant her some peace with knowing where her son is going and whom will be his family (and by connection a leg of her family).

And in all this, as always, we place ourselves in His hands and pray that He work through us and embrace this whole process and the beautiful people that are being knit into our lives forever by it.  And pray for the little boy that will be our son, and his birthmother and everyone caring for him while we wait to bring him home.

This wait is a lil different....

This phase of waiting is different....   In some ways its easier and in some ways its harder.  Our update came from the agency today.  It was so strange to not see us on the list.  An AMAZING strange :)  We were on that list for 9 months and now we are on the "waiting for court date" list!  Is it real? Pinch me!!!  And its crazy, because there are so many moms that I just love on the list that I'm still anxiously watching for referrals so that they will also finally know who their little ones are.  Of the most anxious is who my little niece will be...  Pray my sister and Brandon get matched soon!!!  Its even possible their little girl could be at the orphanage with our son and be getting to know her soon to be cousin and not even know it yet.... WAY COOL!

One small plus of being on the wait list so long... this phase of waiting hasn't even really hit me yet!  We were submitted to court on Tuesday (praying!! I haven't heard officially that we were since they told me that that was the plan)... we will wait a couple weeks and hear with our birthmom court date is, and then following that...hopefully only a few short weeks later, we'll be in Ethiopia to meet our lil man for the first time! UGH... CAN"T WAIT FOR THAT DAY.

So this phase of the wait..... it's easier because there is a peace.  That whole anxiousness of "where is my child/ who is my child/ when will the call come/ how long will it be till i know who they are etc." has been answered.  There is a little boy and he will be our son and I can look at his face a thousand times a day (and I prolly come close to that lol!!).  And for all intensive purposes this wait should be almost half of what I just did waiting for referral... and it will be split up by a trip to go meet him and go to court. Its harder because now, every day, there is a very real person missing from our house....  growing a day older each day without us, and that just really feels like a lil chunk of your heart is sitting on the other side of the world.

So far though, I really am still on a "referral high".  We just received new pics of our lil guy because our agency caseworker was in Ethiopia last week.  She said when she got to the orphanage he was just finishing his bath up on the stair and then proceeded to try to put his shoes on (wrong feet)...ugh melt...  And she snapped lots of pictures.  ADORABLE!!! She also took measurements and he gained a lil weight :)  And another family is travelling soon and will be taking him a little care package from us and getting more pictures for us.   It definitely helps pass the wait having such a great little adoption family!!  And some of the sweetest things are coming out of our kids.  They all have his pictures on them all the time.  Jasmine peppers every person within arms reach, showing off our lil guys pictures with such excitement. Dominic filled the crib with his blanket and toys and a handmade card of "Me and my new baby"  Melanie has declared herself the "babysitter", Isabel made the sweetest little book for him with pictures of us, the kids, the dogs... and such sweet notes for him about how much we love him :)  Its  so amazing.... its like we all get to watch our hearts grow even more and this lil guy is already so loved :)

This has kinda been a 'stream of conscious' blog :) But its where I'm at at the moment!  Please keep the prayers coming that we get a court date soon and we can go meet our lil guy for the first time!! I just cannot wait for that moment!!!!

REFERRAL!!!!!

It's a BOY!!! The day has finally come, and we are so in love already!   Last Friday our caseworker Sally called us with some loose information on a little boy and wanted to know if we would be interested.  He was going to be two in a few months... and of course we said yes!  She was leaving for Africa the following day and asked for our patience and she would send over all of his information as soon as possible.  We were so anxious but at the same time so happy that she was willing to call us with anything when she was so busy with packing and whatnot the day before leaving on a huge trip! We waited and waited... and finally... when I least expected it I received an email late Wednesday night.  I had given up hope at that point on Wednesday because it was already extremely late in Ghana, where our caseworker was, .... but amazingly she was awake and sending me our lil guy's information!!!  What an angel! I'm sure she was so tired.   We accepted his referral and printed out lots of pictures.   We are not allowed to post his picture online until after we go to court in Ethiopia.  But as a part of our Valentine's Day surprise for the kids we put his pictures in separate envelopes for each of them and had them open them first.  I wish I had video taped!!! They were soooo excited, squealing and jumping!! Dominic is already making plans for bunk beds when he gets a lil bit bigger. Here are a few snap shots of their faces when they first got glimpse of their new little brother!






It is amazing to reflect over the waiting time and see how God had knit THIS child on my heart from the very beginning.  When our call to adoption was first confirmed, there was a day in prayer when I was praying for our child to be.... and I saw him standing there holding Mary's hand...  a little guy, but standing... a toddler to be sure.  I remember asking the agency about toddlers and she told me they really dont get them very often.  She said they normally get younger babies or children over three, but occasionally a toddler does come through.  So we went into our nine month wait expecting that we would probably be matched with a younger child.  Yet the whole wait I had a place in my heart pulling to be the mother of a child who's mother had to part with them after having them for a year or more.... yet two months ago our caseworker was again telling me, when I asked her if there were any kids close to being ready,  that toddler's really just don't come through very often so she didn't expect that specifically .. but you just really never know, things change in a moments notice....   And  the child that comes up for us is in fact a toddler, in exactly the circumstance I had on my heart :)  God is good :)  And he is SO BEAUTIFUL!!! He's gonna be a heart breaker for sure!

Now that we have accepted our case will be submitted to court early next week.  We will wait on hearing first of when the birthmother's court date is and then following that we will be given our court date, which is when we go for our first trip.  Following our first trip we return home, until his travel papers are ready and then we will return to bring him home.  Please storm heaven that all of this goes as quickly as possible, as we cannot wait to go meet this little guy and hug him to a million pieces!!!

KISSES IN THE WIND

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.

I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.

May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

--- Unknown

We can't be far!!!!

We got our monthly update.  And as much as I dreaded seeing us on the list again, and only one higher... this update has be EXCITED :)   And I'll share what's getting me excited so you all can be UBER ANXIOUS with me LOL!   So to start.... the Walkers are



And at that number, with the people ahead of us and what they are waiting for we are next in line for a boy over 5 months old. And I shall copy and paste the line from the last update that I keep rereading and is giving me all sorts of butterflies!!!

Potential Referrals - We have a 2 referrals VERY close to referring and others (3-5 that should be quite soon...the ones that are close to referring are all boys and 4 years & under)

Ahhh!  We can't be far!!! 

The Urgency...

First things first... before I share my lil revelations of the week :)  No, we haven't been matched yet.  Yes, we are closer haha  We are first in line for the next boy ages 5m-18m (#2 in line for a girl).  Can't wait to shout from the rooftops the day we finally get the first of many exciting calls :)   Yes, I am bout to lose my crazy lil mind haha

And on that note, comes something that really struck me this week.  I have been so very blessed to have become friends with many of the moms on the waitlist from our agency.  Love them!! Love waiting with them, celebrating movement with them, and sharing walking this amazing journey with them.  But it struck me today (and of course I've known this for a while, but for some reason it just struck me in a new way today) that its not just me that is "About to lose my crazy lil mind", all of us are so anxious... we all have an urgency within us, granted some are a lil stronger with the patience but its there for all of us... this urgency to have our child in our arms.  And it struck me, that we have been given to feel God's urgency.  He has knocked on the doors of each of our hearts and placed the urgency for the child that needs us...and He gave it to us.  How else can we explain this CRAZY, cannot even explain it until you experience it yourself, urgent need to have a child in your arms whom you have never seen.... to jump through hoops and every step of the way feel like you would do anything you could just to get there faster.  And then it struck me that He does that with all of us, with all of our true needs...  How many times have I said something to someone and they reveal I have spoken exactly to the needs of their heart.  How many times have we found the answer to our concerns just provided in the unlikeliest of places? It's really being revealed to me, that whatever our need is, it is an urgent need of God's as well.  He is knocking on the doors of hearts until someone opens and responds.  We just have to be open and have faith that it is happening (remember not everyone opens right away... sometimes it takes knocking on many doors), and we have to stop staring at the door we expect to be the answer and lift our chins up in faith and look around and be open to the answer God is providing.  I mean, in all likelihood  I am QUITE certain that the mother in Africa that has reached a point where there are no options would never plan on me, a woman she has never seen on the other side of the world,  being the one to open my arms and love her child.  I'm pretty sure that she wasn't thinking when her child was born (or even before they were born) that God was already working on the answer to what seemed hopeless for her child.  QUITE certain I am...  and yet He was.  And it wont be for months and months after that door was opened, that it will be seen to fruition and it will be clear.   But we just have to have faith that He loves us all personally, and is urgently working to meet our needs ... as a good Father does.  "If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him." Matthew 7:11

And the New Year begins.....

We received an update from our agency... and the Walkers are inching closer to the top and are now number:

 

As we get closer to the top of the list, the more the question of "When will the call come" comes to mind...  I know its good to busy myself and trust in the Lord but it becomes more and more consuming as we get closer.  Yet, the irony of it all, ...and I learned this all to well last time we adopted, is that the call somehow manages to come when you aren't thinking about it.  It seems virtually impossible as it seems to always at least be in the back of your mind... yet that's how it happens!  So, Carrie, must somehow distract herself.... help her please!!! LOL!!!   And to distract myself at this moment, and share for those of you whom don't know or maybe forgot, I'll share the story of the last time I got a referral.  To this day, STILL one of THE most amazing days of my life :)  Hence, why I can't wait for getting that call again.   I remember it started off as the most miserable day.  Our eldest dog, who is no longer with us, had gotten into something and literally gotten sick allllll over the house.  It was disgusting, and smelly and I was cleaning all morning.  On top of that I had the concern that perhaps it was her liver going out which added a whole new dimension to the level of concern for this "Sick" and lovely morning.   The furthest thing from my mind was the adoption...and that was saying something because I had no babies at home and was soooo eager to see the face of my newest little one for the first time.  The phone rang and when I saw our agencies number it still didn't even register that it could be the referral call (Remember doggy ick infested mind LOL)... and the first thing Elaine said was "How do you feel about a little girl?"  I couldn't believe it!  I was really expecting a boy because at the time our dossier was almost ready she actually was getting ready to turn a boy away because she didn't have a match for him at the time.   No baby girls had been in the Walker family for something like 5 generations... and our Godsent angel was a baby girl!  She emailed me the pictures right away and we were instantly in love...  She was just a day under a month old, and had been born on June 3, the very day we found out we were pregnant just a few weeks prior.  God always signs His work :)   And that baby would also be a girl to start a new trend in Walker history!!