The Urgency...

First things first... before I share my lil revelations of the week :)  No, we haven't been matched yet.  Yes, we are closer haha  We are first in line for the next boy ages 5m-18m (#2 in line for a girl).  Can't wait to shout from the rooftops the day we finally get the first of many exciting calls :)   Yes, I am bout to lose my crazy lil mind haha

And on that note, comes something that really struck me this week.  I have been so very blessed to have become friends with many of the moms on the waitlist from our agency.  Love them!! Love waiting with them, celebrating movement with them, and sharing walking this amazing journey with them.  But it struck me today (and of course I've known this for a while, but for some reason it just struck me in a new way today) that its not just me that is "About to lose my crazy lil mind", all of us are so anxious... we all have an urgency within us, granted some are a lil stronger with the patience but its there for all of us... this urgency to have our child in our arms.  And it struck me, that we have been given to feel God's urgency.  He has knocked on the doors of each of our hearts and placed the urgency for the child that needs us...and He gave it to us.  How else can we explain this CRAZY, cannot even explain it until you experience it yourself, urgent need to have a child in your arms whom you have never seen.... to jump through hoops and every step of the way feel like you would do anything you could just to get there faster.  And then it struck me that He does that with all of us, with all of our true needs...  How many times have I said something to someone and they reveal I have spoken exactly to the needs of their heart.  How many times have we found the answer to our concerns just provided in the unlikeliest of places? It's really being revealed to me, that whatever our need is, it is an urgent need of God's as well.  He is knocking on the doors of hearts until someone opens and responds.  We just have to be open and have faith that it is happening (remember not everyone opens right away... sometimes it takes knocking on many doors), and we have to stop staring at the door we expect to be the answer and lift our chins up in faith and look around and be open to the answer God is providing.  I mean, in all likelihood  I am QUITE certain that the mother in Africa that has reached a point where there are no options would never plan on me, a woman she has never seen on the other side of the world,  being the one to open my arms and love her child.  I'm pretty sure that she wasn't thinking when her child was born (or even before they were born) that God was already working on the answer to what seemed hopeless for her child.  QUITE certain I am...  and yet He was.  And it wont be for months and months after that door was opened, that it will be seen to fruition and it will be clear.   But we just have to have faith that He loves us all personally, and is urgently working to meet our needs ... as a good Father does.  "If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him." Matthew 7:11

And the New Year begins.....

We received an update from our agency... and the Walkers are inching closer to the top and are now number:

 

As we get closer to the top of the list, the more the question of "When will the call come" comes to mind...  I know its good to busy myself and trust in the Lord but it becomes more and more consuming as we get closer.  Yet, the irony of it all, ...and I learned this all to well last time we adopted, is that the call somehow manages to come when you aren't thinking about it.  It seems virtually impossible as it seems to always at least be in the back of your mind... yet that's how it happens!  So, Carrie, must somehow distract herself.... help her please!!! LOL!!!   And to distract myself at this moment, and share for those of you whom don't know or maybe forgot, I'll share the story of the last time I got a referral.  To this day, STILL one of THE most amazing days of my life :)  Hence, why I can't wait for getting that call again.   I remember it started off as the most miserable day.  Our eldest dog, who is no longer with us, had gotten into something and literally gotten sick allllll over the house.  It was disgusting, and smelly and I was cleaning all morning.  On top of that I had the concern that perhaps it was her liver going out which added a whole new dimension to the level of concern for this "Sick" and lovely morning.   The furthest thing from my mind was the adoption...and that was saying something because I had no babies at home and was soooo eager to see the face of my newest little one for the first time.  The phone rang and when I saw our agencies number it still didn't even register that it could be the referral call (Remember doggy ick infested mind LOL)... and the first thing Elaine said was "How do you feel about a little girl?"  I couldn't believe it!  I was really expecting a boy because at the time our dossier was almost ready she actually was getting ready to turn a boy away because she didn't have a match for him at the time.   No baby girls had been in the Walker family for something like 5 generations... and our Godsent angel was a baby girl!  She emailed me the pictures right away and we were instantly in love...  She was just a day under a month old, and had been born on June 3, the very day we found out we were pregnant just a few weeks prior.  God always signs His work :)   And that baby would also be a girl to start a new trend in Walker history!!