So thankful and filled with JOY on this BEAUTIFUL, fall-ish (I say fall-ish because TECHNICALLY its still summer, but sure is behaving like fall!) morning. And I realize, looking back over the past couple weeks that so much of reaching that "thankful and filled with joy" place, is perspective. I'll tell you one way that a person walking in my shoes could easily describe the past few weeks of my life... and then I'll tell you my perspective....... and I hope you will all see, what I saw upon reflecting on this simpliest of things...
School Started! Soo simple right? I now have about 6 hours a day with only one child at home and I can actually clean LOL Of course as you think, "oh my life is about to get easy!!!" God laughs. Brian's seminary started back up which means two nights a week he gets home between 9:30pm and 10:00pm. His work decided that these "transition into school weeks" would be a FANTABULOUS time to explode with issues requring him to work whatever spare minute he had... including Labor Day weekend, early mornings (ie limited help getting the kids ready for school etc.). Sandwich in the middle of that our first formation weekend for the diaconate, which means finding sitters, and spending most of a Saturday preparing for, and discerning this call to the diaconate with other coupes. AND then we have the homework! Kids that are not completely back in gear with school, coming home with homework they do not want to do and be lovely beautifuls about doing it. Toss in the mix a couple dogs that have a real knack for NEEDING something right when 4 kids are being crazies, husband is on the phone with work or gone and Mom is just out of hands and feet to meet their needs... but they are the loudest and the squeaky wheel gets the grease. This story could quite easily lead to a very frustrated, overwhelmed and miserable person... A perspective of "why isn't my husband home right now?" "why are these dogs insane?" "its not that much homework why do they have to be so difficult?" "REALLY a formation weekend in the middle of this maddness??" SO easily it could be that..... But let me tell you how I see it, and all of a sudden this crazy life is just plain BEAUTIFUL!
Firstly, I AM So incredibly blessed and thankful. All of these things are things that can change with a moments notice. Things can be calm one minute, chaotic the next. We could be healthy today and sick tomorrow... much of those things are out of our control. But we can root our joy in something constant, something that doesn't change.... and recognize how very blessed we are. I am SO thankful that I have a husband that is wholly devoted to us and our family. He has busy times and yet still jumps in the mix in the 10 minutes he has to lighten the load as much as possible.... or just walks through the door with flowers when even that time isn't there :) It fills me with so much JOY that when he walks through the door at whatever crazy hour, we are both not even worrying about sleep, but brewing a pot of tea and spending time together. It could so easily get overwhleming... but many of these things are temporary and I realize that. Work will not always have issues. And I am thankful he has an opportunity to shine in his job! And WOW!! He HAS a job! Gosh... there are so many people that would do anything just to have a job and I am tempted to complain about a busy week or two? God is providing for our family, which sometimes means I have a little more to do. Is it gonna kill me??? Prolly not!! Haha The kids might have some crazy days... but I am so THANKFUL. I HAVE kids. GREAT kids. I have healthy kids! I have kids, that most of the time genuinely try to be supportive and loving to each other. How is it that we don't look at the "most of the time" but find it so easy to focus on that tough "moment?" I try to look at the reality. This child doesn't want to do their homework. It's 6 oclock. In reality, though this moment can be a headache.... by 8:30 they will be in bed, homework will be done, and the world WILL continue spinning. And that formation weekend??? All I had to say was "YAY FORMATION WEEKEND!!!" We can either live life so we don't need a vacation, taking the little breaks God offers us and bask in them... or we can seek what we deem to be a break and wait for that, being miserable until it comes. I choose to take God's breaks! They come exactly when you need them. So instead of seeing this as yet another day in a busy schedule that needed to be done.... we celebrated! We had an evening and day kid-free! We were able to enjoy almost an hour drive together and have conversation without interruptions. We got to spend the day with other couples also discerning this call... and talking many things God, which we LOVE. We got to be in the presence of adults for a good chunk of the day and enjoy the drive home! We ate lunch together and dinner the night before! PURELY BEAUTIFUL!! God is SO good!!! And the dogs?? Well sometimes all I can say about them is what BEAUTIFUL crosses they are! LOL! I often joke that at the gates St. Peter will be going back and forth on whether to let me through or not and then he'll have a revelation "The DOGS!!! Ah yes!! Go ahead ... you earned it!!!" LOL!!! But secondly, I know I can not be everything to everyone and I accept that. We have to be flexible as life changes all the time. And just because I could clean my house before the kids were in bed yesterday, does not mean that's what will happen today. Just because I am normally the one that helps Melanie get dressed... doesn't mean that I always can if someone is having another issue. BUT instead of focusing on the things I'm falling short on... I try to look past the end of my nose, and see what God has put in front of me to help with those things (and by gosh the things that truly need to get done, He does provide an alternative). Isabel can help Melanie get dressed (and actually loves doing so!), Melanie can let the barking dog in, Jasmine can answer the phone (HAHAHAHA Sorry to whoever I did that to!)..... but you get the drift. Does this mean there aren't moments that I put my hands on my head and look up to God and say "are you SURE its not time for a break yet??" .... oh there are PLENTY of those!! And quite honestly this blog is helping me put my life into that very perspective I'm trying to practice every day!!! But I will say one amazing thing... when you're stretched, you grow. And when things pile up past what you could EVER possibly do... and then they get done anyway, we get to literally watch God working through us to do it. Its the only explanation. And THAT... I love!!!
P.S. I know you are all curious about how our wait is going... ME TOO!! LOL We'll get an update in a couple weeks, provided we dont have a referral at that point. I'm pretty sure we'll be in this next batch of referrals as the orphanage is now pretty empty and they're filling it up with new kids again :) So YAY!! Trying to walk the path and not focus TOO much on "WHEN WILL I SEE MY BABY!!!" But it sure is nice to have a sister who's also adopting that we can call each other and basically say "Come over and wait with me!!" And we can talk adoption and watch videos and just get our silly selves all excited for that referral day that is coming SO SOON!!
P.P.S. I LOVE FALL. I am already looking forward to apple orchards with the kids pumpkin patches, ..... loving this hoodie weather. OH JOY!!!!!!! HAPPY DANCE!
How is it that we don't look at the "most of the time" but find it so easy to focus on that tough "moment?"
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