GO!

The prayers I pray most often are these: That God make His will known to me, and that He grant me the grace necessary to do it. And I also ask Mary for her “yes”, her “Fiat!”, her “let it be done according to your will”. As it turns out, these prayers, when prayed with a sincere heart lead to crazy things!!

About two years ago, God began placing on my heart this call to seek “the least of these.”. To add to our family, but specifically “father the fatherless”. This desire to adopt a child that might otherwise die, was so strong.... yet at this time it was also not possible. We had just had our fourth child and in the heights of recession Brian's company had placed temporary pay cuts and unpaid time off, in efforts to keep as many employees as possible.. and even with that layoff was a very real possibility. But, nothing is impossible with God :) At an “Infant Jesus of Prague” triduum I remember Fr. Ben preaching that the Infant Jesus had never been known to deny a petition and that He was particularly good with “working out babies” lol. So, in the petition box I asked that if this was in fact the will of God, that He make it possible. The next year and a half were ALL God. A mortgage modification of astronomical amount, Brian's company relocating him to ten minutes from home, a raise, a promotion, another raise... all in a recession! Each time something would happen, I'd stand back in awe... “My gosh, He's doing it....”

Now as finances are stablizing.... just waiting for “the call”, the “GO!” from God (not that Jasmine's persistent pestering for another sister wasn't a clear “go” from God lol). A couple months before we depart on a pilgrimage to Rome and WYD with a group of 25 that we had been planning for over two years, the signs start coming. First an unlikely person hands me some baby things and tells me to save them for my next child. I was not thinking about children at all at this point because we were so close to the trip and had so many things to prepare.... I took notice, and let it sit in my heart, but said nothing. Then a couple weeks later Brian asks me “out of the blue”, when we are going to start discerning if we will adopt again. Ok God, we'll start looking ….. I started browsing agencies and while a lot of countries I could talk myself into being excited about, I didn't feel the “pull”. And then a surprise email from God's Littlest Angels in Haiti comes through, stating that the long time laws were likely changing and adoption from Haiti might be much easier soon. We took God's hand, and started walking this path, open to wherever it may lead. Just days after this occurs, I am handed this CD (this person knew not of my adoption meanderings at this point, just simply said that I must listen to this), and while the talk was good seeing the cover was even more amazing to me. It spoke volumes.

 Then we head off to pilgrimage! Going into pilgrimage I had prayers for so many family, friends, general intentions... but the only intention for us was that if God could direct us further, as to His will regarding this adoption. In the first week of our pilgrimage, one of the pilgrims comes up to me in the morning as tells me “I had a dream that you called me over to babysit your newly adopted child last night!”. I remember praying to God “Ok! The answer is “yes” just show me where you want us to go.” The following days continued relatively uneventful (adoption-wise... they were PLENTY eventful pilgrimage-wise! LOL). And two days before we leave I offered in prayer, that I would wait until He showed me who to talk to next or what to do, or where to go. The day before we leave I am informed that our tour guide has to fly out early and we will be assigned a new tour guide to get us to the airport and see us off. In walks, Deacon Louis from Haiti! CRAZY! As it turns out he is not just an angel of a person, but he just helped a family adopt a little boy from Haiti and told me to call the Missionaires of Charity in Haiti. Upon arrival home I began talking to Sr. Joie in Haiti. I love her! She is simply amazing. She was so excited in hearing of the things I told her, and she also agreed that God was calling us to adopt a child. However, she reccomended that I look into another country as she did not trust the law changes in Haiti and she wanted to absolutely sure they were in the best interests of the children and that families would not get stuck in process as a result. The conversations were very filled with the Holy Spirit, and I feel God wanted me to talk to her. It solidified my call to adoption, but also helped me realize that I needed to find a country with a more stable program. Enter Ethiopia.... I remember one of the first people that said something that made sense to me regarding this path was my sister.  Since I had been researching adoptions in Haiti she had been drawn to Ethiopia.  She said "Maybe God drew you to Haiti to get me excited and find Ethiopia... so that we would go there together."  Haiti was perfect for so many reasons... The children were beautiful. There was such a NEED. The poverty was heart breaking, mothers were choosing between watching their children die and placing them in an orphanage in hopes they might have a better option. 1 in 5 children die before the age of 5... it goes on and on. I wanted to be part of the solution to THAT. Ethiopia, has the same scenario... 6 million orphans in a country less than twice the size of Texas. Most of the country lives in extreme poverty.... It was the same situation in a different continent. The only difference was, with Ethiopia everything we looked into, every person we talked to just opened the door wider. Upon mentioning Ethiopia to Brian, his response was that he was actually feeling drawn to Africa as well.  I begin researching and we already met the criteria for adoption, I already knew a reputable agency with a program that was running smoothly, every person we talked to that went through their program had nothing but inspiring things to say. There was no question asked, that wasn't answered in a way that brought peace. On top of that my sister was likely going to be adopting from there, and we would have children from the same country, likely the same orphanage to grow up together... and we could go share the process as a family! And then I started looking at the children, watching the videos, reading about the country, and God spoke to me and said “GO!”.