Come to the Stable..

Its always important to visit someone you love on their birthday... and I spend much time with lil baby Jesus, so if you are not accustomed to visiting Him in the stable... feel free to join me today :)

Walking the path from the inn to the stable where baby Jesus is I can't help but feel the rejection Mary and Joseph must have felt.  They had traveled a long and difficult path just to be turned down at every possibility of shelter.. and then offered something that met only their bare necessities.  A gust of wind carries the smell of barn yard animals and I step closer to the stable. There is a subtle glow as the door comes into sight ... and as I walk through all of the smells that we noticed on the walk dissipate as my eyes fall upon the Holy Family.  I silently drop to my knees and gaze upon them.  At this moment in time they are the only ones in the whole world that know that our Savior is among us.  How blessed are they?  As I think of the thoughts I had walking, about their rejection... I can see that they are showing no suffering, but only the joy of a sweet baby and the awe of being in the presence of the Savior.  In embracing their path, and whatever was to be for them, they were blessed to be the very first people to welcome our Lord... the only ones there at that moment.  Mary is cradling baby Jesus in her arms and Joseph is standing behind her and they are both so intently focused on baby Jesus that they do not even notice my arrival at first.  Their complete love and adoration of Him is so apparent to us as we look upon them.  Then Mary looks up at me.  Her sweet eyes with such faith and trust, yet complete surrender look up, and she holds baby Jesus up to hold.  I walk over and sit right beside her, because no new mother likes to be far from her baby.  She hands Him to me and His angelic little eyes look at me and his newborn baby legs curl up.  I cradle Him in my arms and say "Happy Birthday .. " :)  It is so obvious... He knows me.   A baby relaxes in the arms of a person they know and love and Jesus knows me and relaxes in my arms. It's so amazing to me how much our God loves and trusts us.  At this moment He who created all of us, is totally dependent upon us, and chose it to be this way.   I lay him in my lap and let him grab my finger with one hand as Mary does the same with the other. She is so in love with her baby boy.  His little eyes are not focusing well yet, but His little fingers grasp so tight.   He yawns and I lift Him up to my shoulder and as He drifts off to sleep I whisper in His ear "Thank you.."  I look at Mary and I can tell she already misses Him.. so I hand her back to His Mama.  She blesses me.. and as I look in her eyes I know that she is watching over my own little one until I can be with them.

Merry Christmas and God Bless all of you!

And the countdown continues...

The Walkers are starting out December at number:

We are inching closer and closer to the top.  The past couple months have been on the slow side with referrals, which is not easy for a mama anxious to see her lil one for the first time!!  It does sound like things should start to turn around soon, which is encouraging!  We are number 7 but at least half of the people ahead of us on the list probably wont conflict with us.  There are some scenarios where we would be the next referral, and other scenarios you could play out where 4 come in and we are still waiting!  A lot really depends on what referrals come in and in what order.   But I am hopeful that we will be off the list by the end of the January.... but perhaps with some extra prayers we might be lucky enough to have a Christmas present?  Please pray that paperwork collecting goes quickly (the kids are already in the orphanages waiting!!) and referrals can be made at a faster pace so families can have their little ones in their arms soon!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

This weekend ushered in the beginning of my favorite time of year :)  It starts will the fall and the beautiful leaves and the cooler weather... and then Thanksgiving, and the whole Advent season and my most favorite of all: Christmas!!  I love me my baby Jesus!!  Thanksgiving was a blessing, as always.  We are so blessed to not only have most of our immediate family within driving distance, but we also share the uncommon blessing that all sides get along so well that we can host Thanksgiving for both sides together and everyone can celebrate together. There are jokes as to how we all fit together (out laws, in laws, LOL.... all family really).  It was great to have everyone together.  The kids got to go to the parade with Brian's dad and brothers while we prepared the house and food.  The food was YUM...I will always be thankful to the guy in the grocery store a few years back that yelled at me for looking at buying a Butterball LOL  He was like "A Turkey is a Turkey.... go buy some butter and put it in there yourself and save $30!!" and By gosh he was so right!!!  The butter has got nothing on the arrangement Brian can put together though!!  He's quite the artist when it comes to a turkey!!

As Thanksgiving came to a close, the weekend was just beginning :)  I have (after like 3 years of dragging) seemed to reached the understanding with my sister that she will go shopping with me LOL  I'm not a total loon with this stuff, its more out of logistical necessity at this point.  I have 4 kids and a husband in the seminary... there are not many shopping days that I have that I know there will be sales and I wont have to find sitters for the kids.  So we joined the crazy kooks for a while on Thursday AND Friday... but it really wasn't bad :)  No camping out and all friendly conversations with fellow shoppers.   Amongst my shopping I collected myself 7 Christmas trees to pretty up my outdoor nativity... and prompty began lining my kitchen with them when I returned home (I'm a bit of a Christmas crazy!!)LOL It was quite the scene...and I discovered my lil Dominic is quite the hardworking Christmas Elf as he helped me open all the boxes and set them all up!  

Dominic helping me create Christmas city in our Kitchen!!

What? Doesn't everyone's Kitchen look like this???? :)

Phase one complete!  I plan on figuring something out to make this scene "Hello its Christmas" amazing for Jesus's Birthday!! But still trying to dream up how that will be.... hopefully I'll have some creative partner in crime that is good at this stuff help me.  Note: Baby Jesus isn't lost.. He hasn't been born yet! He'll be there on Christmas Day :)

And then we moved indoors....  The decorating has begun... I still have a number of things to get to their places tomorrow, but a lot of things have reached their destinations... and our tree is up.  I lost count of how many nativities and holy families I have LOL But I love them!!!  The hustle and bustle of four kids decorating the tree and opening all the bins amongst Christmas music was quite the scene.  I can almost picture our fifth lil Christmas crazy there as I step back and watched them.  Next year will be another one of those fun "first Christmas" ... so many firsts as a family together and the craziness of yet another little so excited to put up all the decorations!!   

Melanie trying to reason with Jasmine that SHE should be the one to put the star on the tree.

Verdict: They shall do it together! 

A VERY concentrated section of "Melanie" ornaments reside in one section of the lower branches.

Isabel and Dominic prettying up the tree :)

So pretty!! LOVE Christmas!

And of course, the biggest stocking is set aside for the birthday boy :)  The kids will be filling it with "presents" for Him all the way up to His birthday.  Each time they do something for Jesus, ie help another, show love, prayers etc., they will draw a picture of it or write it on a paper and put it in His stocking.  We hope to have this thing TOTALLY filled by His Birthday :)  

Yes, this blog was long.... I am a Christmas girl :)   Perhaps we need to go visit Baby Jesus together soon..... but we'll save that for next time!! God Bless!  And Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!!

The Grace of the Wait...

Different title, similar theme...eh? I've been going to the chapel for adoration on Monday nights, without fail, for as long as I can remember. Sometimes I do a lot of the talking, sometimes He does a lot of the talking, sometimes I just sit with Him, sometimes I read His word with Him.... but it is always a blessing and always a grace filled experience. And last night He opened my eyes to the grace of the wait, in more ways than one. I have a friend who has become such a dear sister in Christ and sister in the wait that is in Ethiopia right now. I am so incredibly excited for her to be meeting her baby for the first time, and praying for them as they go to court today to finalize the adoption :) In talking with our contact in Ethiopia, it seems that a big pick up in referrals isn't expected till the beginning of the year. This is kind of the feeling I've been getting from our agency as well. We are close enough to the top of the list that we might be one of the lucky few to get one, but its just impossible to tell for sure. So much depends on the order that the children who are ready come in. There are some ways you could work the list that we are the next referral, and then there are some ways you could work the list where 5 referrals come in and we still not have one... so it's really in Gods hands (but for those of you wondering we are still #8... though it sounds like close to moving to #7). While this news isn't the best to hear, as far as our wait goes, in a certain way it relieves that “waiting for the phone to ring” anticipation. And I keep trying to remind myself to not get ahead of God in this thing... cause that is where the grace is. If I go running ahead to places we are not even there yet, all there is is a bunch of “what ifs” and “how longs” and more questions than answers. But in today, there is peace :) So, as I was sitting in adoration last night I was praying for our child, and I really reflected on the root of my urgency of having this child home. Where was it coming from, what was making me most impatient. And while a part of me does want it for “me” reasons... I want to see my lil' ones' face, I want to hold them, I want them to be sleeping in their crib and playing with their brother and sisters... I can't wait for all those things, but in another way I can if that is what God wills. The thing that makes me “get to Ethiopia today” urgent is the thought that my child is out there. They have already lost one family, and are in an orphanage somewhere. They don't have a family and do not even know yet that they will have one. While it brings me peace to hear of how the nannies love the children and I am absolutely sure that God is wrapping His arms around my lil' one through the love of those nannies, my child still doesn't have a mommy or a daddy or even being told that they are coming yet. And then it weighs on my heart, that most likely a birth mother brought them to the orphanage, my “other half to this equation”, the person who started this journey that I have been called to complete... and I can only imagine what it would be like to have to make that choice out of necessity. To bring my child to an orphanage in hopes that they will have a life, and I believe until she knows that is happening a part of her will be missing peace as well... So its all these things that make this yearning, this urgency this impatience get to a place where I need to start giving myself pep talks!! And then as I was praying for my child (and I always see the same face, very curious to see if that will be the face I see in pictures someday soon) I started seeing groups and groups of children, and realized that in the wait not only am I being blessed with the same yearning every pregnant mom has, but I am being graced to be allowed to feel some of the weight that is on the heart of our Lord. That yearning and that urgency for my child to be in the arms of a family is His desire for all of His children. I know we often, myself included, pray that God give us His eyes, and His heart so that we can see the world the way He does and love the way He does...  In that prayer, there is a certain abandon to His will that we need to commit to, otherwise we miss the journey... we miss the opportunities He's giving us to see the world as He does.  If I focus on referral day, then I am missing this moment I am having right now, in learning how He sees because I am getting to live a little snippet of it myself.  I'm not quite sure where He will take me with all these things I learn along this path... but if I've learned anything over time, its that God doesn't so much draw your path with a pencil as much as a huge spray paint can LOL It so often stretches wider than you thought, spatters and touches things that you didn't anticipate, and there is always more remnants left that just the final destination. So, while I want to see my child's face, and cannot wait for that day, I'm eager to walk with Him to make sure I absorb every step of this journey as He intended... I'm quite certain each day of this journey is preparing me for the tapestry of things He is already starting to weave that I am unaware of right now. And while my child will be placed in my arms one day (and really a day not that far away), and one journey will have reached its destination, many others will have already begun along the way.... cause that's how He works :) Love it!!!

And because this man hits on the urgency of God in this even better than me, I shall share this video that can never be watched enough... and even if you've seen it before I suggest you watch it again

Depraved Indifference

Ahhhh the waiting!!!

Ahhhh I have reached a point of adoption insanity, and I need to preach at myself, so I might as well let you all in on my preaching lol Anything you might find inspirational, don't think that it has ANYTHING to do with me being an inspiration.... its what I need to hear, so therefore I'm the exact opposite LOL A lot really has happened in the last few weeks, timeline wise. It'll probably make my october update in a week and a half less exciting, but we are unofficially number 8. Three people have gone off the list, and I found out that one family is on hold till February.... that was so exciting! And there are some scenarios where as few as two children would get me a referral.. but then you can play out other scenarios on the wait list and it will be a bit longer wait.. The wait has become difficult, the yearning is worse than a pregnant mom past her due date (but a very similar feeling minus the extreme discomfort!). It's hard to explain to someone that has not been through it... but I can feel a connection to this child, and I haven't seen them yet. I can FEEL that they are out there. There was a long time that I knew God was going to bring us to a child, wasn't quite sure which child, and wasn't quite sure when.... that has moved to a placed where I can FEEL that that child is already enroute to us. So I seek information.... WAY more than I probably should LOL Anything that can give me an idea of how much longer till I see their face, and usually very little is given. Things are unpredictable. Some weeks the agency gets news of several children, some weeks none... and its not easy to predict how fast any child will be paper ready. And I can sense that I need to stay in the present. I need to live in the now and walk at the pace God is going. The answers WILL NOT be there until He wills them to be there. I cannot find a route myself, and cannot make a path that is not there... I HAVE to walk with Him. I have to WAIT on Him and I have to have faith in that timing. And in reality I don't want anything but that timing, and the informational brick walls are probably reminders to me that I did not get here by any of my own doing, and I will not get anywhere by my own doing... so why seek information? Will it shorten my wait? Will it give me ANY more control? No, if anything it will take away from me “walking in faith”... and “waiting on Him” Each time I feel that tug, I must offer it up in prayer for my child, in hopes that our wait is almost over, and we can move toward seeing them for the first time. Please pray for us!!! Pray for our child. Pray for referrals to come quickly! Pray for grace during the wait. Please don't pray for patience!!! Patience=more waiting LOL In all reality, even though every day seems like a year, it probably wont be that much longer till we have exciting news to share!!! God Bless you all and thank you so much for sharing every little step of this journey with us!!

September Update

We received our update, and I know you are all waiting with us so I wanted to share what we know.  As of now the Walkers are:



Not much movement in the last month or so, as its been pretty slow with referrals :/  However, the information in our update that I was most interested in is what the coming month or two will look like.  The courts in Ethiopia have been closed for the past month and a half because of the rainy season.  In addition to that our agency's orphanage was pretty much full, and all of those children have travelled home to be with their families in August and September.  Now, as we are greeted with October, the courts have reopened, the orphanage has plenty of room.... so our agency is very optimistic that the referrals will pick up as well.  They have something in the range of 25-30 children they are expecting in the next couple months.... so I am really hoping we'll have some exciting news to share before the holidays!!  And while I'd prefer to be higher on the list, as far as numbers go, 12 has always been one of my favorites :)  So hopefully it treats us well this month and we see a big jump in referrals :)  It really is so crazy to think that in the course of the next six months (give or take) we will be matched with our child, travel to Ethiopia twice and have them home in our family! Six months and we don't even know who they are yet!  It's crazy, to think that we'll be planning our first trip to Ethiopia, in realistically, a few months and we still don't have a clue when that trip will be!  I think we've planned weekend trips further in advance!  Talk about a huge roller coaster of faith!! Holding on for the crazy ride!  Keep us in your prayers!!! Waiting for anything is hard, waiting for a child has to be one of the hardest!!!

Wow....

Wow..  What a "bigger picture" moment today!I was pooling over the update from our agency from last month.  Of course initially looking at the wait list and trying to figure out how many more referrals need to come in before we will be receiving ours. Thinking of that first picture and eagerly awaiting it.  Then I read further into the update, and it was saying how if your child is a birth parent relinquishment (vs. an abandonment) the agency suggests that you make a photo book for them.  We will get the opportunity to meet this family if there is known birth family...  which I am SO hoping and praying for that opportunity for so many reasons.  Not only to have that connection and be able to share that with my child, but also in hopes of giving that family some sense of peace, some sense of truly "knowing" not just trusting that the child they loved is going to a family that will love them and be a good family to them. So, the agency suggests making a photo book of the family, the house, the child's room... anything that can give them a glimpse into what their child's life will be like.  But then this is what really stopped me.... the agency also mentioned that in this photo book we should remember to include pictures of our baby (THEIR baby!), and any pictures we might have (referral pics, pics from other families etc.) because MOST of these families do not have ANY pictures of their child and will cherish them. Not even one! Ugh. how incredibly humbling and sad.  Me... the one who is being given the greatest blessing by them.  Me, who is so impatiently waiting for my FIRST picture, should remember to give THEM 'a" picture? How crazy is that? And its easy to maybe think of it from America perspective... oh maybe this family had the baby and a few days later they were placed in an orphanage an the opportunity was just not there.  That alone would be sad enough,  but that is usually NOT the case. Children are honored in the Ethiopian culture.  Most of the time the mothers keep their children as long as they possibly can.  In fact that is why most of the children come to the orphanage with at least some malnourishment.  They kept them as long as they possibly could and when the choice was life or death, they chose life for their child. And they have no picture... not because there was no opportunity, because there was no camera!  Ugh... how incredibly spoiled are we?  How INCREDIBLY spoiled? Its moments like this that I just feel like things like this need to be always kept in front of me so that I can attempt to step away from a selfish mindset and truly appreciate the things I have, AND recognize the things are are truly "needs"... and realize that many of the things that seem to be needs are usually "nice to haves" or "conveniences".  When I look if I can help out a brother or sister in Christ, am I looking at my "Excess" or am I looking at whether I am meeting my needs and all the rest is "up for grabs"? Next time we feel like we are lacking perhaps ask yourself "Do I have a picture of my son/daughter/husband/wife/loved one?" And realize how many people go without these simplest of treasures   

A little perspective...

So thankful and filled with JOY on this BEAUTIFUL, fall-ish (I say fall-ish because TECHNICALLY its still summer, but sure is behaving like fall!) morning.  And I realize, looking back over the past couple weeks that so much of reaching that "thankful and filled with joy" place, is perspective.  I'll tell you one way that a person walking in my shoes could easily describe the past few weeks of my life... and then I'll tell you my perspective.......  and I hope you will all see, what I saw upon reflecting on this simpliest of things...

School Started!  Soo simple right?  I now have about 6 hours a day with only one child at home and I can actually clean LOL Of course as you think, "oh my life is about to get easy!!!"  God laughs.  Brian's seminary started back up which means two nights a week he gets home between 9:30pm and 10:00pm.  His work decided that these "transition into school weeks" would be a FANTABULOUS time to explode with issues requring him to work whatever spare minute he had... including Labor Day weekend, early mornings (ie limited help getting the kids ready for school etc.).  Sandwich in the middle of that our first formation weekend for the diaconate, which means finding sitters, and spending most of a Saturday preparing for, and discerning this call to the diaconate with other coupes.  AND then we have the homework!  Kids that are not completely back in gear with school, coming home with homework they do not want to do and be lovely beautifuls about doing it.  Toss in the mix a couple dogs that have a real knack for NEEDING something right when 4 kids are being crazies, husband is on the phone with work or gone and Mom is just out of hands and feet to meet their needs... but they are the loudest and the squeaky wheel gets the grease.   This story could quite easily lead to a very frustrated, overwhelmed and miserable person...  A perspective of "why isn't my husband home right now?"  "why are these dogs insane?"  "its not that much homework why do they have to be so difficult?"  "REALLY a formation weekend in the middle of this maddness??"  SO easily it could be that.....  But let me tell you how I see it, and all of a sudden this crazy life is just plain BEAUTIFUL!

Firstly, I AM So incredibly blessed and thankful.  All of these things are things that can change with a moments notice.  Things can be calm one minute, chaotic the next.  We could be healthy today and sick tomorrow... much of those things are out of our control.  But we can root our joy in something constant, something that doesn't change.... and recognize how very blessed we are.  I am SO thankful that I have a husband that is wholly devoted to us and our family.  He has busy times and yet still jumps in the mix in the 10 minutes he has to lighten the load as much as possible.... or just walks through the door with flowers when even that time isn't there :)  It fills me with so much JOY that when he walks through the door at whatever crazy hour, we are both not even worrying about sleep, but brewing a pot of tea and spending time together. It could so easily get overwhleming... but many of these things are temporary and I realize that.  Work will not always have issues. And I am thankful he has an opportunity to shine in his job!  And WOW!! He HAS a job! Gosh... there are so many people that would do anything just to have a job and I am tempted to complain about a busy week or two?  God is providing for our family, which sometimes means I have a little more to do.  Is it gonna kill me??? Prolly not!! Haha  The kids might have some crazy days... but I am so THANKFUL.  I HAVE kids.  GREAT kids.  I have healthy kids!  I have kids, that most of the time genuinely try to be supportive and loving to each other.  How is it that we don't look at the "most of the time" but find it so easy to focus on that tough "moment?"  I try to look at the reality.  This child doesn't want to do their homework.  It's 6 oclock.   In reality, though this moment can be a headache.... by 8:30 they will be in bed, homework will be done, and the world WILL continue spinning.  And that formation weekend??? All I had to say was "YAY FORMATION WEEKEND!!!"   We can either live life so we don't need a vacation, taking the little breaks God offers us and bask in them... or we can seek what we deem to be a break and wait for that, being miserable until it comes.  I choose to take God's breaks!  They come exactly when you need them.  So instead of seeing this as yet another day in a busy schedule that needed to be done.... we celebrated!  We had an evening and day kid-free!  We were able to enjoy almost an hour drive together and have conversation without interruptions.  We got to spend the day with other couples also discerning this call... and talking many things God, which we LOVE.  We got to be in the presence of adults for a good chunk of the day and enjoy the drive home!  We ate lunch together and dinner the night before!  PURELY BEAUTIFUL!!  God is SO good!!!   And the dogs?? Well sometimes all I can say about them is what BEAUTIFUL crosses they are! LOL!  I often joke that at the gates St. Peter will be going back and forth on whether to let me through or not and then he'll have a revelation "The DOGS!!!  Ah yes!!  Go ahead ... you earned it!!!" LOL!!!    But secondly, I know I can not be everything to everyone and I accept that.  We have to be flexible as life changes all the time.  And just because I could clean my house before the kids were in bed yesterday, does not mean that's what will happen today.  Just because I am normally the one that helps Melanie get dressed... doesn't mean that I always can if someone is having another issue.  BUT instead of focusing on the things I'm falling short on... I try to look past the end of my nose, and see what God has put in front of me to help with those things (and by gosh the things that truly need to get done, He does provide an alternative).  Isabel can help Melanie get dressed (and actually loves doing so!), Melanie can let the barking dog in, Jasmine can answer the phone (HAHAHAHA Sorry to whoever I did that to!)..... but you get the drift.   Does this mean there aren't moments that I put my hands on my head and look up to God and say "are you SURE its not time for a break yet??"  .... oh there are PLENTY of those!! And quite honestly this blog is helping me put my life into that very perspective I'm trying to practice every day!!!   But I will say one amazing thing... when you're stretched, you grow.  And when things pile up past what you could EVER possibly do... and then they get done anyway, we get to literally watch God working through us to do it.  Its the only explanation.  And THAT... I love!!!

P.S.  I know you are all curious about how our wait is going... ME TOO!! LOL  We'll get an update in a couple weeks, provided we dont have a referral at that point.  I'm pretty sure we'll be in this next batch of referrals as the orphanage is now pretty empty and they're filling it up with new kids again :) So YAY!!  Trying to walk the path and not focus TOO much on "WHEN WILL I SEE MY BABY!!!"  But it sure is nice to have a sister who's also adopting that we can call each other and basically say "Come over and wait with me!!" And we can talk adoption and watch videos and just get our silly selves all excited for that referral day that is coming SO SOON!!   

P.P.S.  I LOVE FALL.  I am already looking forward to apple orchards with the kids pumpkin patches, ..... loving this hoodie weather.  OH JOY!!!!!!! HAPPY DANCE!

Is it September already???? UPDATE :)

Oh MY! How easy is it for a couple weeks to pass without me writing on this blog! I hope once we get back into the “normal” crazy of a more structured schedule with school starting I will be able to be more diligent with it, as I do enjoy sharing our crazy lil life with you guys! So, what's new in the Walker house? Well, as school inches closer and closer the kids are gradually getting to the point where they are climbing the walls (literally in some cases!). No amount of planned activities, or entertainment seem to suffice.... they are ready. School bags are already packed and school clothes picked out, new haircuts and school lists are out. So excited for them to start a new year, and I pray its a good year for all of them! Pictures will be up Wednesday of the first day of school :) And this will be Mama's first time home with only ONE child for 6 hours a day, in over 7 years! Until our new little love arrives, of course :) And that new little!! Ahhhh, patience, the virtue I soooo need to work on, and as a result God ALWAYS PROVIDES! LOL! Goodness, if I didn't laugh at myself I'd have gone crazy by now (of course it is debatable in many minds as to whether that happened years ago). We did receive an update late last week. Unfortunately, not much of an update as far as waiting list movement goes. We are STILL holding fast at #13! Please pray for some movement this month. August was an active month with travel and bringing babies home (YAY! Praise GOD, forever families being formed!) which is freeing up lots of space in our agencies orphanage, and Our agency has 5 referrals almost ready to make and another 8-10 in the wings, so once all these come to fruition, we likely will know who our little one is... have a picture and all sorts of information on him/her. Of course, God always makes sure to shine through in every moment though. As we were greeted with a somewhat disappointing update this month, the very next day I moved enough to our adoption savings to just pay for the bill we have at referral. This is quite a moment, as the bill at referral is the single biggest payment we will have to make at one time. And even more worth noting.... 2/3 of it was literally provided by works of God himself. We have scrimped and saved. We have cut many, many expenditures (some of which God decided to provide us anyway, as He is always so faithful and good!!!), and did everything within our power to put all that we have in His hands. However, all we had... when looking at this bill was very easily compared to the 5 loaves and 2 fish, to feed 5000! And, just as in that miracle, when you put everything you have in the hands of our Lord, no matter how seemingly little it seems... .it is enough!! I really hate to focus on money at all... As I have learned over the years that when you are doing His will, He always provides... however I know many people need to hear stories like this to build their own faith... and so I share. We are not talking hundreds of dollars here... but thousands, provided.... We did not ask, and in fact when we looked it wasn't there LOL it was through realizing that we don't have the answers and trust Him to provide for us in this walk that He called us on. And I will say one more thing. Many times, even when we are doing God's work, it is so tempting to pull whatever money we are saving for this work close to us and cling to it... in fear that we will never have enough if we give any of it away. I am reflecting on two separate times in the past few months, when I could feel God calling me to donate (one time to a missionary priest from Africa raising money to build a church in his country, and one time to some deserving teens) and literally the only extra money I had was the money folded up in my wallet, waiting to be deposited for the adoption. And both times, I chose to jump out of the boat and trust Christ to not allow me to sink, and I gave that money away. And both times it came back, one of the times in the very same day! It wasn't even out of my wallet for 6 hours, and I dropped off a statue I had painted for someone and they, knowingly and willingly overpaid me for it..... EXACTLY the amount I had donated. GOD IS SO GOOD!!! We still have quite a financial journey to go, as we have two trips to Ethiopia to figure out but I trust fully that God will provide, as long as we give Him our all... and we are doing everything we can to do that!! God Bless you guys and please pray for lots of referrals and grace for us as we wait (praying for patience is risky business please don't do that LOLLL!!)

Living in the present etc... Kind of stream of conscious lol

I am really convinced that most of the worry, angst and unhappiness of our lives comes from our not living in the present and our natural inclination to control things. Imagine if God granted you the gift, if only for a day, to only be able to live in the present. By noon, without great strain you already could not remember what you had for breakfast, that you were almost late for work and that your kids were screaming for WAY too long. You also couldn't remember exactly what it was you were supposed to do this evening, let alone later this week. How would that change your perspective? You would literally be forced to just focus on the present moment. And if you can't remember... once you accept that you can't remember (we'll move onto that control thing in a minute) then, really the only thing TO do is be fully present, in the present. The things you have to do cannot cause you stress because they are not a part of your NOW, the things that happened this morning cannot weigh on you, because they are not a part of your NOW.... and NOW, all by itself, without all of that other stuff mountained on top of it... really is something you CAN do. But in living in the present, there is a certain amount of control that we lose... and that can be maddening for some of us. There is a sense of false security in thinking that we can actually control a lot in our life... when really we are just seeking knowledge, which doesn't change the inevitable end at all. I imagine, in my “live in the present” day, that pretty quickly I would realize that since I could only live in the moment, if there was something that truly was within my scope of “control” that I should be responsible for, I would write it down when I thought about it in the present so that I could do that thing later... for example, “Take Melanie to the doctor at 5pm”. However, what I probably would NOT do is waste my time writing down things like “Call the agency and see if anything new has happened.” …. Its important to notice where our focus is. At the moment I might be tempted to call our agency, as waiting is no fun, and try to glean some sort of early information (they already do update us every month!) as to where we are on the waiting list. But in reality, all this sort of thinking does, is rob our joy of the present, worrying about something we have no control over. Any information I glean from that conversation will not change anything about our timeline, or the update we will receive in a couple weeks. All it will do is give me more information, of which I really cannot do much with... except feel informed LOL And its so easy to feel like we have some sort of control when we have information. And not to say, there are not many important things to learn. Absolutely! I rarely have my nose out of a book.. Just reflecting today, that in every situation... in the present moment, I have found that normally it is pretty easy to discern if there is anything that you can do about the situation, or if it should be placed in God's hands to handle, because there really isn't anything you can do. I think a lot more of the things in our life fit into the second category. I do believe, for the things that we discern there are things we CAN do, it would be negligent of ourselves to not do them... but for the things that we discern there is nothing we can do (and as I said, I've found its usually clear pretty fast when this is the case).. we need to let go and let God :) He asks us to Trust Him over and over... and its so easy for us to instead, trust ourselves when we goof stuff up all the time.

Not sure if I should reread this... it might be complete confusion as I kinda just tossed all the mess of my mind down LOL But if there is anything that makes sense.. YAY Happy FRIDAY

Busy, busy, busy and an UPDATE!

We got another update from our agency!! Its been such a busy week that I haven't had a chance to post.  We had the kids at Camp Dearborn with Brians' family, and then had our kickoff retreat for the diaconate. It was nice to visit with the family for the better chunk of a week, and, in proper "Brian and Carrie style", come home and within the course of less than 24 hours, unpack.... wash... pack.... drop kids off at their respective "weekend getaways" ... and get on the road. The retreat weekend was really nice. We were gathered for the first time with all of the men that were also accepted into formation, and their wives.  These are the people that we will walk this path with... and its pretty exciting to look at the group and know that some semblance of them will be ordained deacons in four years!  We do not know what the future will bring, but are so excited to walk the path God has put in front of us!  We see only an open path.  And that's the thing, with life.... really, no one ever knows exactly what the end of any path will be... only the direction it is headed.  And the way you look at the path affects how you view the journey. If you start walking a path, deciding where it is destined to end... then every turn or fork in the road is viewed as something that is "wrong" ... something that "wasn't supposed to happen", and with your eyes focused so on your predetermined end, you miss your chance to absorb all the beauty of each step of the walk.  So, we walk :) As we do everyday, in faith and love of Christ, excited to learn and grow with each step of the journey....  And wherever it leads, praise Him!!  And of course, weekends like this also give us a great opportunity to be reminded of how blessed we are with the great support system we have that even makes it possible for us to venture out in faith as we do.  We have four kids... Four AMAZING kids... but four kids, and many people struggle to find  help watching even a couple kids.  We are so thankful to my sister and her husband, my parents and our great friend for watching our kids this weekend (and in many other circumstances Brian's parents other friends, church family) ... Not only did they volunteer to watch our kids, but did so much to literally make it a "Weekend getaway" for our kids.  They are such special people in our lives, and our kids lives that they truely celebrate these moments when they get to spend time with them!! We thank God often, for the beautiful, crazy lives He has blessed us with!!

NOW.. the update!!! I guess a long blog is what happens when I skip for a weekish LOL...   The Walkers are NUMBER:


Just a little movement since our "mid month" update... But movement none the less!! It's so exciting to inch closer and closer to referral day. We are hopeful for faster movement soon, as many many children will be returning home and a lot of space will be freed up for more new referrals at our agency in the next month or two. We know that God's timing is perfect, and we rest in that.  Doesn't mean I'm not starting to get very curious about our little one.  It's so crazy to think that we have a son/daughter that is already alive... on the other side of the world, and we don't know who they are yet.  I wonder what they will look like, when they were born... can't wait to see that little face in referral pictures!  For now, we walk the path (there's that path again!!!) and pray everyday for our child... and not only our child, but the people who are caring for him now.  And I pray not only for the care they give him/her but also for the caregivers themselves.  Right now, they are the only person our child can reach to..  We have all had a moment in our lives when we were "the" person that someone's world was centered around.  When we were the ones that were in such an important place in another person's life.  It is a huge responsibility but also a huge blessing.  So, for this moment, when they are the center of our child's world... when there is no known person, yet, that will be coming forward for this child... may they reap every blessing and grace, that comes with being the center of my son/daughter's life.  For I know as soon as our child is matched with us, in the minds and hearts of these people there will be mixed emotions.  They will be so happy to know this child will be loved in a family forever, but also, for them, a timeclock starts ticking... and their "moment in the sun" with this child is already starting to fade.  So I pray for them to relish and enjoy and bask in their moment in the sun, until, in God's infinite wisdom, it is our time to step into the rays.

BE THANKFUL :)

The following item by an anonymous author, with numbers which are only approximate, has been widely quoted for many years, and puts it all in perspective: 

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following. There would be:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south
8 would be Africans
52 would be female
48 would be male
70 would be non-white
30 would be white
70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian
6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would
be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
ONE would be near death; ONE would be near birth
ONE would have a college education
ONE would own a computer.

When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, you recognize that you are indeed among the fortunate......

And, therefore . . .

If you woke up this morning
with more health than illness,
you are more blessed than the
million who won't survive the week.

If you have never experienced
the danger of battle,
the loneliness of imprisonment,
the agony of torture or
the pangs of starvation,
you are ahead of 20 million people
around the world.

If you attend a church meeting
without fear of harassment,
arrest, torture, or death,
you are more blessed than almost
three billion people in the world.

If you have food in your refrigerator,
clothes on your back, a roof over
your head and a place to sleep,
you are richer than 75% of this world.

If you have money in the bank,
in your wallet, and spare change
in a dish someplace, you are among
the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If your parents are still married and alive,
you are very rare,
especially in the United States.

If you hold up your head with a smile
on your face and are truly thankful,
you are blessed because the majority can,
but most do not.

If you can hold someone's hand, hug them
or even touch them on the shoulder,
you are blessed because you can
offer God's healing touch.

If you can read this message,
you are more blessed than over
two billion people in the world
that cannot read anything at all.

You are so blessed in ways
you may never even know.

If you are feeling blessed, repay the blessings bestowed unto you and do something for others.

And a video, I love... that also illustrates the problem with many of our perspectives in life:

http://www.godvine.com/Life-is-Like-a-Cup-of-Coffee-Inspirational-Video-437.html

A day in the life...

Its only two o'clock and I just had to chuckle at some of the crazy things that have been said in this household.  Us Walkers are a lil crazy you know.  Here's a few....

"What did I tell you about going down the stairs on your stomach?
"No, polka dots and plaid don't really match"
"Please stop climbing up the inside of the door jams"
"I love you." "How many?" .... "How many?"
"I'm sure that the tooth fairy can swim"
"Who tied the doors together?"
"Dental floss is NOT gum!"
"Time to find your shoes"...  Princess dress up shoes found... "Well I guess that will work"
"No, I am not buying you XRAY glasses"
"Why are you eating an apple with a spoon?"

Daily entertainment, I tell you!!

Unexpected Update :)

I was conversing with our contact at the agency today, as I'm donating a lot of the clothes that didn't sell to our orphanages in Ethiopia.  Soooo excited about that.  Seriously, I think more excited than if they had all sold and I had earned another $300+ from them (there are more clothes than you can even imagine).  I love the thought of all those little kids having some nice outfits, and our clothes going to a place where they are in such need.  In the duration of the conversation, Sally (our contact at the agency) told me that we had just moved up to 14th on the waiting list, and they had just been informed of approx. 7 more referrals coming the agency's way soon.  Each move up is one step closer to it being our turn!! So exciting.  Please pray for my patience as we creep up the waiting list.  Sally was so right.  Its so exciting as we continue to move up the list, but as we inch closer and closer to the top the wait becomes even more difficult.  A coined phrase Brian and I have (since every child we've had, including Isabel, has made us wait lol) is "I hate wait" LOL!!  So, I figure that is one of the many reason's God keeps giving me opportunities to get better at waiting :)  I am so thankful He has blessed us with a really smooth and pretty speedy timeline thus far.  Just praying, if it be His will, that it continues!  I will say, that as we walk the path of life, I have learned that His timing is always the perfect timing, not ours.  Doesn't mean our crazy, impatient, human minds don't forget that from time to time lol.  Guess I need another project to keep me occupied!  That garage sale was a GREAT June distraction :)  God Bless you all!!

Best Day Ever!

As declared by Jasmine as she skipped into the house this evening :) And I must agree today was a great day!  Took the kids out with grandma to the religious store (Dominic's FAVORITE store) and proceeded to add yet another thing to their list of "items to get in their inventory" LOL!  I always ask for the most random things, I amuse myself... and they know me by name now haha.   Then the afternoon brought a few surprises.  Brian walks in two hours early with flowers :) And we are able to vacuum out the pool to get it clean.  As we are cleaning the pool we handed the hose to the kids on the other side of the yard.  Oh the joy a hose can bring!! Jasmine doused Dominic, Melanie got everyone, Dominic chased his sisters... oh the squealing and joy that were oozed from those moments.  Then the surprised they were not expecting today.  The pool is ready early!! Everyone rushed into suits screaming with excitement and running through the house.  The older girls are doing surprisingly well without any floaties (including jumping off the diving board and swimming across the pool). Dominic has discovered the slide already and Melanie is just happy to be a part of it all.  As everyone scoots into the house Jasmine announces to no one in particular (and I'm really not sure who even heard her): "Best Day Ever!".   And of course... me, you know the crazy lady always in some state of contemplation lol, thinks how much we can learn from kids.  In fact, I think we should all have as many kids as it takes to get ourselves set right LOL. In scripture it says we must be as children to enter the Kingdom of heaven.  And I could write (and probably will over the course of time) 50 blogs about the aspects of being a child that we should model after as we seek the Kingdom of Heaven. I am so thankful God has blessed me with 4 (going on 5 YAY) children to serve as CONSTANT reminders of this in so many ways.  But today, I think about what it takes to have joy.  Today, we were not at Disney World, we did not purchase any extravagant gift... the rules were not even bent :)  We just gave them a hose and let them swim with the family (and don't doubt that Daddy coming home early with flowers for Mommy didn't brighten their day as well).  The joy in what IS, and not seeking after more is something kids are SO great at. I've heard, and try to live "Live life as though you never need a vacation"... and in many ways I think today was an example of that.  How do you do this?  When you are working outside, don't be miserable in the work you have... squirt each other with the hose.  When you finish your work don't consider your swim in the pool something you deserve because you worked so hard.... but a fun thing you are blessed to be able to do.  The kids don't expect that they get to swim everyday just because we have a pool.  Being able to swim is SO EXCITING whenever we tell them they can do it.  They find joy in the moment, and are so much better at living in the present than adults.   And God is in the present. You will find Him and you will find Joy if you live in the present.  While kids do enjoy getting things (quite frankly mostly because we give them to them and they have learned this) their true Joy, their "best days ever" are having fun with people.  Laughing, and enjoying life.  Running at the park, picking flowers, helping Mommy cook, dousing their siblings with the hose....   And what, as adults are we so often seeking after?  We are often rushing through those moments, to be able to get to.... what exactly?? What IS it that is so important that we miss living life?  Quite honestly I can think of nothing.  And as I spent the day swimming with my kids, in a pool that desperately needs to be painted..   And an evening cleaning up the yard with my husband, and an evening swim with him, I couldn't be happier.  You could place me on any beach, offer me any material item and it would not make a difference.  Each moment of life is a blessing, and you are exactly where you are meant to be.  Embrace it, and make every day your "Best Day Ever!"  God Bless!!!

Weeds

Random meanderings of my crazy lil mind :)

Yesterday, I go out in our back yard.  And after weeks of little rain I take a look at our yard.  Our grass is 90% yellow and dried up... but what is flourishing in all it's glory?? The WEEDS!!  Of course! LOL! Aren't they a beautiful joy???  And looking at this sight, the Parable of the Weeds comes to my mind.  Not necessarily looking in depth at all the angles of the parable, as that can be done for some time.... but just the reality of Weeds, both spiritually and in reality.  I look at my yard, and the good things, the beautiful things... the flowers, the grass... the things we WANT to see, take time, love and constant dedication to flourish.  If we ignore them, without major grace from God (in the means of rain in this case lol) they dry up and die.  However, weeds.... give them next to nothing and they thrive... with very little effort, and steal the nutrients from the good things as well in the process.  In fact it is MORE work to be rid of them, then for them not to be around.   And isn't this the case in the spiritual life as well?  Isn't it SO easy, with very little effort, to find ourselves being lazy watching tv, ignoring our responsibilities... or to find ourselves thinking judging thoughts of others, or being tempted to talk badly of another (and watch how that weed grows!!! Spreads like DANDELIONS with a good breeze!) the list goes on and on.  It really takes, in many cases, concentrated effort over time to rid ourselves of these habits.... its easier not to!  But just like weeds in a garden, they steal the good from us... they creep into us and make our whole garden YUCK LOL.  And the things that make us beautiful, the things people actually WANT to see, take a lot of constant work and dedication and whole lots of grace from God...  But when you look at a garden (both in my metaphor and in reality) that has had the time and dedication taken.... isn't it so breathtaking?  Isn't it like experiencing a little slice of heaven?  Doesn't it make you want to know... what do I do to make THAT happen?

That's all I got today :)  God Bless you all!!!

Moving on up!

THE WALKERS ARE NUMBER:



We got our wait list update today, and we've moved up a bit on the wait list.  June was a little slower than May with referrals, but they have been continuing with a steady pace.  And while we are 15 on the list, that doesn't necessarily mean we have months and months  to wait.  A number of the families ahead of us on the wait list are requesting different ages than us or more than one child (in which two referrals have to come in at the same time in order for them to be matched).  So, really its anyone's guess when we'll get the call.  I know many ask estimates, and if I were to guess, I would think August or September we'd be matched, but obviously that is just a guess and anything can happen at any time.  God's timing is always perfect :) Please keep praying for us as we attempt to patiently wait to see our babies face for the first time in those referral pictures!!

Angels in our midst

I continue to be in awe of how greatly God works in our lives when we just get out of the way. Things we cannot possibly comprehend, He already has all figured out. In Matthew 10:39 it is said that “whoever loses his life for my sake will find it,” and it is so true. We find our life, our true purpose, only when we completely abandon ourselves to His will. When He called us to adopt, all we knew was that He called us to adopt :) We really didn't know how this was going to work, if we would be approved, how exactly we were going to pay for all of it... etc. etc. etc. But we knew that He made His will very clear, and we had already found our life in giving it to Him. So, we trust, as He tells us over and over again in Scripture. God will provide, Do not worry, If you can care for your children how much better will He care of us.. etc. etc. This last few weeks was really our first opportunity to try to work to raise some extra money for this adoption. Prior to that we were so busy paper chasing and working at getting on the waiting list as fast as possible (our child is waiting for us!!!) that concerns of our own money was kind of a lesser focus. And even in those months God provided in so many unexpected ways. As many of you know we just did our first real fundraiser, a garage sale. And, while of course a garage sale does not a full adoption pay, we were abundantly blessed and have a great start towards our next big adoption bill. But our blessings were not just financial. In fact, for me, the blessing was even more in being able to see that there are literally angels in our midst. We are surrounded by them!! And God has hands and feet, and hearts and mouths speaking His words ALL over the place!! A very wise priest once told me “we are already in heaven, if we only had eyes to see.” And I have found that as we “lose our life for His sake” we start to see the heaven that we are already in. It is amazing to me... I stand in awe, of the truly selfless people that went out of their way to help us with this. Donations came out of the woodwork, people did whatever they could to promote our sale, or help us at the sale, so many people came and many donated just to GIVE, and left with nothing, but a smile on their face. This is so inspiring to me. Thank you all so much for letting Christ shine through you and your generous hearts. Know that you have encouraged us more than you know, and everything you did to help us will be multiplied, because in His hands He can feed 5000 with 2 loafs and 5 fish. And know that when this little child, finally sets his/her feet on American soil in the arms of parents who will love them forever, that you played a part in making that happen. Know that there is a child, that otherwise, might never know what it is like to be read a bedtime story, or have sisters and brother that are truly their own, and a mom and dad, and food and everything they will need to just LIVE, and you played a part in making that happen. And also know that without your selflessness there isn't a guarantee that it would be possible. God provides in many ways, you are one of them. So please do not feel that we are the ones doing this amazing thing. We are all doing what it is God called us to do to care for His children. We are so truly blessed, God bless you all and we are thanking Him for you and praying daily for all of the angels in our midst.  

Countdown Continues....

THE WALKERS ARE NUMBER:

 

PRAISE GOD!!  PLEASE KEEP THE PRAYERS COMING THAT REFERRALS KEEP UP AT A FAST RATE AND THE PROCESS CONTINUES TO MOVE SMOOTHLY!!

Thank  You!!!!!  God Bless!!!

This is what happens when I clean!

I've been cleaning my attic and house trying to find as many things as possible for our garage sale (Fri June 29 and Sat June 30... mark your calendars and start spreading the word!!!). And as I've been doing that and starting to clean out my laundry room and other areas of my house I just stumbled across my third, new in the package, space blanket. And it made me smile. This may not mean much to many of you... but any of you who have joined the Walker family via Youth Ministry and specifically World Youth Day, probably also smiled when then read that. It came to mind how many things like this bring a smile to my face, and its because of the priceless ten years in youth ministry, and four World Youth Day pilgrimages that I am graced with so many humorous thoughts and my thinking is marked for life in certain unique ways.. As I sat looking at the space blanket for a few moments I thought of a few... and thought I'd share...

Space Blankets – packed for every WYD to help keep warm when sleeping outside. So, of course seeing one instantly brings me to the two WYD's spent sleeping in VERY cold conditions.... but also, of their additional, unadvertised, purpose, of 'shelter from a CRAZY storm'... and was used for twice, hiding underneath as rain pelted down and crazy winds blew.

Bright t-shirts and accessories – Stumble across an orange bucket hat and remember standing at a restaurant after the adventure of a trip to a German hospital with Michelle wondering if we'll ever find our group again... and 11 orange hats walk right in front of us :) When making shirts and hats... first thought? Can we spot it from a long distance??

Straight black wire – Bent out hanger you think? NOPE.... instantly I see this in my garage, and know “FLAMINGO LEG”!!! Which of course reminds me of two years of flamingo flocking under the dark of night... :)

Cardboard box – EVERY time I see a box bigger than a bread box, I instantly think “I wonder if someone could fit in there and sleep?”

Praise and Worship songs – I often find myself looking around thinking “There are motions to this song!!! Doesn't everyone know that?!”

Sleep – OPTIONAL!! And it doesn't really matter if the sleep we do get is under a tree, on a bus, in a hostel, in a cardboard box, in the dirt/on the pavement... or actually in a hotel!! And I also find that I almost always now keep hotel doors propped during waking hours... because someone “might need to come by”..... and also know that if you DO choose to sleep, pictures MAY be taken of you, and will likely end up all over various forms of multimedia...

Packing – Our attic is adorned with 8 brightly colored backpacks, and newly purchased carry on back packs.... which I now look at and think “I could pack for a 16 day trip in that”

The fundraising skillz – Excel is used to organize youth ministry events and fundraising, yes? I can rattle off with little effort, the costs/profits/work required for any fundraiser from spaghetti dinners, to tigers games, to selling statues to selling pies!!!

The added twist of travelling with a pilgrim family – Every picture/experience has humor and history behind it. We look at pictures of Lourdes for example... and of course I reflect on the Marian procession and the grotto … but not ONCE do I NOT think of Jackie lugging 5 gallons of holy water all over France and Germany following our visit to Lourdes :)

Shoe shopping – Its kind of ingrained in me, when shopping for new tennis shoes, to think “can I walk 5 miles in these?”... even though I don't always need to, I've needed to so many times its almost second nature :)

Waiting for food or anything for that matter – is not a noticeable event any longer. After waiting for hours for slop many times... you kinda learn that its the “journey not the destination” and learn to enjoy your life while waiting :)

IMPOSSIBLE NOT A WORD – If I've learned one thing in this journey through ministry, is that absolutely NOTHING is impossible with God. And you will never hear that word from me :)

There are so many memories, and so many yet to be made on this journey called life :) The memories and lessons are endless, I can only be so thankful for every single “yes” we've given as it has shaped our lives and made them so full!!! And we've collected so many family members along the way :)  And, see... now THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I CLEAN!!! LOL!!

NEED

When I see things like this it really makes me realize how many of the things that we've conditioned ourselves to believing that we "need" really are not needs at all.  How so many of the things that cause us days and hours of worry and fretting really are not things to worry about at all.  It is amazing how our perspective on life, our perspective on the choices we make, and the things we "need" can change so immensely if we turn our eyes from ourselves and look out to the world.  It's not that there is not enough in this world (food, medicine, shelter etc.) its that many of us have way more than we need... and many of us do not have even close to what we need.   Who can fix that?  God has provided already provided enough...   Its up to us to be His hands and feet in the world and do what He intended with the things He provided.  I believe all of us can be hope to the hopeless, in some way.  All of us have some part to play to "heal the world."  Happy Monday :) 

:)

I know there are plenty of people out there that probably think I'm crazy (this is NOT new information! LOL!)  But I am SO incredibly excited when I picture a 5th little one in my army of children.  When I see them play in the backyard and imagine another little one amongst them.... SO FUN!! :)  Its so hard to believe in a few short months we will get to see their face for the first time.  Can't wait for June 1st so that we can see where we've moved on the wait list!!

Also, my sister and I are going to be doing a garage sale in June.  All proceeds will go towards our adoptions.  If you have anything you might be willing to donate we would be so appreciative!  If not, if you are willing to spread the word once we have a date and of course, please, pray for its success!!!  As it turns out, garage sales are a lot of work!! YAY!!!

CAN'T WAIT FOR #5!!! Happy Wednesday!

Invisible Red Thread

There is an ancient Chinese belief which states that when a child is born an invisible red thread connect that child's soul to all those people - present and in the future - who will play a part in that child's life. As each birthday passes, those threads shorten and tighten, bringing closer those people who are fated to be together.

On this Mother's Day, I reflect on this belief... and the invisible red thread in my own life, and all of the people it has connected me to, and how they have helped shape me into the person I am today. And today, I think of the mothers it has connected me to. Of course, the first thought goes to those immediately closest.. the ones I was knit to from the beginning. My own mom, probably never realized that by letting me take in every homeless and sick animal and care for it, that allowing those things in me to be nurtured and grow would lead me to have a desire to care for , and bring into my home and family, those who do not have families of their own. In, having such an open door in our home growing up and many “Adopted kids” that I would learn to define family not only by blood. My own grandmother, who I watched walk up and down the streets of Detroit, bringing special treats to all the kids and families regardless of race or religion, showed me in such a simple way how to be Christ to the world. My other grandmother, whose selfless devotion to her husband shows how love is so often shown in the doing.... So many examples like these in those within our own family, some in simple ways, some profound.

I then think of the invisible red thread, weaving through every person and circumstance. Every mother God intended me to see, that I might glean something from her and grow, even if only from seeing her for a few moments. The mother patiently caring for her children, the mother who carried her sick son on oxygen to see the Easter bunny and rejoiced in his having that moment regardless of the hardship on her, the mother striving to teach her children to pray and learn right from wrong, the mother who sets aside her work and takes her kids to the park so that they can enjoy the day though it means sleepless hours for her, the mothers who's blogs I happened upon, or maybe just photos I have seen.... each encounter, when taken it, helps shape me as a mother and grow into whom God intended me to be.

I then think of the mothers that I have been knit so close to, that many would never have guessed on the day I was born. I am forever knit to a beautiful woman in Guatemala. I may never meet her, I may never see her face to face, but I love her. How could I not love her? I love what came from her, what was created within her. In my daughter Isabel, in so many ways I see this invisible red thread tied so tight between me and her birthmother. We may never know each other, but we work together in the way God planned. The day Isabel was handed to me there were so many things a part of her, that I did not give her. Her amazing smile with a little dimple, her compassionate heart, her gifts for art and so much more. I am so blessed to get to help her grow with the gifts that were given to her when she was created, but a part of them will always be her birthmother's. A part of her always will be hers. And that does not mean I don't love her completely...I ABSOLUTELY do. But I don't see how I could possibly say that I love her, and not love the person who brought her into the world?  :) This woman has a love that I would like to believe I would have … She has a faith I would like to believe I would have... and I have learned so much from her “yes”... though she may never know. I pray God has given her some peace in her heart. I pray that when she sees an 8 year old girl and wonders how the little girl she brought into the world is, that she knows somehow that that little girl, that she placed in the hands of a lawyer trusting she would find a family to love her is happy, healthy and loved so very much. I am also forever knit to the woman who selflessly brought Isabel to her family for almost a year, caring for her until we could bring her home. Offering love, offering to have her heart broken, all for the love of a child.

And of course I think of the birthmother I am already knit to, though I do not know who it is yet... and the similar connection that is being formed...

I look at my beautiful children, and imagine what God has in store for all of them. He has blessed me so with each and every one of them, and I can only imagine the beautiful tapestry that will be weaved with each and every one of their lives.

God Bless all of you, as you all play such an important role in my life. And today especially, God bless all Mothers... and special prayers to our Mother in heaven. And I am so thankful He has chosen to make me a mom, and that He has blessed me with being tied to so many amazing mothers in my life, that I may learn from them and grow into the mother He intends me to be.

COUNTDOWN BEGINS!!!

Today, on my birthday, IT'S OFFICIAL!!  WE ARE ON THE WAIT LIST!
YAY! Praise God!  The Walkers are:

The agency expects approximately 6 month wait for referral.... but if things continue with referrals at the pace they have been it could very well be much faster than that.  Please keep us in your prayers as we wait.  Also, please pray for our child.... that God watch over them and hold them in His arms until we are able to come and bring them home.  Also, please pray for our child's birthmother.  Whether she is pregnant right now, struggling to care for this child and realizing it is not possible, or already placed them in an orphanage and praying that someone will bring them home to their family and love them.... I cannot imagine the weight on her heart, and the faith it must take to walk such a path.  And I pray God has given her a peace, to know on some level, that someone has said "yes"

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Our agency just informed me that they received our paperwork back from Assistant Stork today (which is again, faster than I anticipated... Praise God!) and that our dossier will be in the mail to Ethiopia tomorrow!! Tomorrow is my birthday :)  I cannot imagine a better present for my birthday!  I am so incredibly blessed with an amazing husband, beautifully amazing children, a wonderful family, the best friends that God could possibly create!  And now, the paper chase for our 5th child is done!  Our paperwork is officially on it's way to Ethiopia and the next big news we will have (Aside from fundraising and preparing the house for a 5th child) is actually seeing our child's face for the first time at referral.  A day that will forever be etched in our memory...  I still remember everything about that day with Isabel.  A number of people have asked, but we are not requesting a gender.  God knows what our family needs far better than we do, and He knows what child needs us far better than we do.... so we leave this, as we leave everything, in His hands.  At this point it's anyone's guess, as many of the families ahead of us on the wait list are not requesting a gender.... soooo we shall see :)  CAN'T WAIT!!! God is SO good! 

Isabel's First Communion

Isabel Made her First Holy Communion yesterday!  What a special day for her! She has been so excited for it for weeks now, and we all loved sharing in her special day.  What a blessing it was to be able to see her receive Our Lord for the First time.  Here are some pictures from her special day:

Where Did the time go??  It seems like yesterday, she was wearing this white dress....  

We love you, Isabel and are so proud of our special little girl!! You are growing up so fast and are such a compassionate, sensitive and sweet little girl.  We are so thankful that God has entrusted you to us, and blessed us with you as our daughter. May God Bless you on your First Holy Communion and always.

My favorite Adoption Videos

It's Friday :)  A good day to sit back and enjoy some of my favorite adoption videos.  They are truly inspiring, and beautiful families. Can't wait to make my own :)  Enjoy!!

Issac Temesgen's Gotcha Day

Lucy Lane's Gotcha Day

Bringing Yohannes Home

And they're off!

Our papers were put in the mail today!!! Out of our hands, and the only job now is to wait!!  Isabel was the proud deliverer of the important mail, and God Bless the mail clerk at the Post Office.  I do believe my mailing request was the most complicated of the week.  From here our documents go off to get authenticated, and then off to Ethiopia (they should be heading to Ethiopia in about a week).  We will then be on the waiting list for a referral of a child!! YAY!!! Our agency just started working with a 6th orphanage in Ethiopia and referrals are picking up so, God willing, our wait to see our child's face for the first time won't be TOO long!!!

I will say, that this adoption process has been such a blessing in so many ways.  Not the least of which, is having Isabel be able to experience this adoption.  There is nothing like learning by doing.  We've explained to her her whole life about her journey to us, and her adoption.  How God called us, how excited we were, all the things we did while we waited.... but its one thing to explain, its another thing to experience it.  I don't think its possible to truly understand what is meant behind the words until you live it.  And so many times in this process already, as we were meeting with the social worker, as we travelled to Brian's work time and again to scan documents to send to the agency, as the kids ask over and over "how long until we see our baby?"... She will ask, "Did you do this when you adopted me?".... and the answer is always yes, and we are able to share with her exactly how it was with her adoption.   And seeing this firsthand, is really inspiring me in general, to try to "live" as much of what we want our children to learn as possible.  Put those words into action!!!  And one last time today : YAY!!! OUR PAPERS ARE ON THEIR WAY!!! WE WILL BE ON THE WAITING LIST SOON!!!! 

I will not leave you orphans...

I saw it again today....  I've seen it so many times over the years.  I first really started noticing it when we were in the process to adopt Isabel.   And so many times since she's been home.... and now that we are in the process to adopt another child...  and I saw it again today.

I went to get one of my last documents notarized before sending them off to Ethiopia (YAY!!! Tomorrow God willing!) and the notary noticed the document... "Department of Homeland Security??   Ethiopia??"  And I told her that these were documents for an international adoption. And then I saw, what I've seen so many times before...  that far off, glazed over look.  And then when she spoke I've heard what I have heard so many times before, that yearning, that desire... that CALL.  "Oh I've always wanted to do that...."  Of course I encouraged her to explore it.  God doesn't put these things in your heart for no reason.  You see, the God I know is a God that keeps His promises.  He was born a man to save us from our own death, because He is so faithful to His promises.  And He promised... "I will not leave you orphans... I will come to you".  There are 147 million orphans in the world.  That means, there are 147 million people that are being called to bring these children home.... or do something so that they are not orphans.  It is not that God is not being faithful to His promise, its that we are not hearing Him.  He has hand picked families for every one of those children.  And I can tell you I've met hundreds already that He is placing it in their hearts.  We have to remember that God cannot work on this Earth, except through us.  We have to say "yes". I know it can be scary, and intimidating, and often there are hundreds of reasons not to look into it, but really we only need one good reason TO do it and it trumps all the others.  If God is placing it in your heart, if He is calling you to do it, then everything else will be worked out (see blog "Go!" for more information on this lol).  Now, do I think everyone is called to adoption.. No! Absolutely not!  God has a purpose for all of us, and it is different for every single one of us.  But I do think he is calling a lot more than are doing it.  In fact, about 147 million more :)    Ok I'll hop off my soap box for now lol  God Bless you all!!!

Melanie is 3!!!

Melanie is 3 today!!!  I can't believe my little girl has grown up so much.  Many people often say "I don't know how you do it" or are in awe of having four kids and in process for our fifth.  I can't imagine NOT doing it.  This fourth little angel of ours (much like our other 3) is such a gift from God.  She is such a crazy and fun little girl.  She adds sunshine to the day of everyone she encounters.  This morning I come down stairs and am greeting by a jumping Melanie "Gooood Mooowwwnnninggg Mama!!".  I tell her Happy Birthday, and she says "It's not my birthday!!" LOL!!  Apparently having her party early confused her a bit, but she had a fun day, and was able to join us for dinner with her birthday buddy, her great grandma (aka Nana) and much of the family. And got her own little cake as well :) God Bless them both!!! We love you muchly!!